Aeylia

Eventually you will have to accept that some people only enter your life for temporary happiness. Yet the only goodbye that really hurts is when you know that you will never see someone again, when someone dies...the world will still move on, yet their perspective everything they encountered, their views - all will vanish with them, a freedom from the impressions of the senses and the vagaries of the mind. Yet even so...death is unfair, it comes to those who don't need it, but not to those who want it, In a flower full of roses the first is plucked first, upheaved from the ground and left to wilt against the dying sun. I believe myself to be a flower, memories carried in nothing but the winds - forgotten by all, left to be an intangible name never ushered upon lips, or harshened out in cries. Is it better to have had nothing at all than to have had and lost? when will everything end? will I ever learn to love myself? why do i loathe myself with my every being as insignificant as I am, I have been struggling for so long, fighting - but for what? To those I know, I have never loved you more, those I hold dear, and long to be held in their arms against dying words and dying breath. Know that I have never stopped loving you, it was never any more your fault than anyone elses - you are not to blame, rest at ease and live at peace. Do not cry because it is over, be happy because it has happened. When I say goodbye, just know that no-one is to blame, this will be my last message, to those viewing this, allow myself to be a flower - for the briefest moment, beautiful through it's suffering, but never lasting forever, as all good thing shall disappear. Goodbye, may my body rot and see the sun as I lay in a field of sugar plums and sunlight...Goodbye, and I am sorry for being a disappointment.

You may want me, but so does the police~

*hugs myself*

screw this, i was given a fish and had to put together a tank- thats not to say i don't like the creatures but that i don't want one, goldfish die so quickly, and i named it marco because the cats will tear it in half, how will i even remember to feed it when i don't feed myself lmao. R.I.P fish, you'll live a better life in your next.

The thing I remember is that when he made up his mind, that was it.
          My brother said he'd die before he ate another mushroom. And he did.
          At Barbara's funeral we swore we'd never be afraid again. And he wasn't. I think Calvin always wanted to fly but that day he finally made up his mind to do it. I told him going around was impossible. Maybe if I hadn't said that.
          Or maybe if the wind hadn't picked up...
          then maybe he'd still be here but I doubt it. I think he'd already made up his mind. That's what I want to remember about my brother. 
          
          The day he made up his mind to fly.
          
          
          and he did.

"To our final night together, and all our nights apart, i dearly hope you'll miss me, and hold me in your heart"
          
          (a poem by me~

Bro I got so scared when I saw your account went inactive and I’m happy it went back to normal-

If you love me, you won’t ask me to bare the pain of this life any longer. If you love me, let me go.
          
          
          Thank y'all for being amaaaaaazing people but imma go die, love y'all keep bein awesome and have a good life :3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it love if i take you away or love if i set you free?

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up inside my heart. Out came the pain, and made the spider shout. Out came the love, and mixed in with the pain. And the itsy bitsy spider is satisfied again.