Hi guys,
It has been such a long time since I've been here but I just wanted to say that I'm okay.
Life has been a little difficult for me recently. Last year my beloved grandfather was as well as an 89 year old man could be, he was able to do many things himself, roughly 8 months ago I rushed him to the hospital on the doctors advice as he thought he'd found a lump in my grandfathers side. 5 months ago he was diagnosed with a lethal cancer that would most likely take him out. 3 months ago we were told that the cancer cells were no longer spreading. 2 months ago he was in hospital again due to an infection. 1 month ago he deteriorated so much that he could no longer do the things he could do literally the day before. On the 21st of December my beloved grandfather passed away.
I have spent the last two years constantly by his side, I may not have lived with him but I would take him shopping and get him out of the house, I would see him almost everyday near the end. I spent the entire day before he passed away at his side.
He was the most loving, giving, accepting person I ever knew and now he's gone.
I'm not gonna lie it hurts, a lot. I miss him, even if I know he is no longer in pain. He passed away so peacefully with all his children and grandchildren there in the house. By the time he breathed his last his wife and all his children and older grandchildren were there by his side.
I loved him so much and I know it'll get better eventually but right here right now, all I can feel is how empty that house feels now, with him gone and no longer there to converse with my grandmother.
I love you guys loads and I hope I haven't made anyone feel bad, I just wanted to get a whole load off my chest which I know is selfish of me but sometimes it helps just to talk.
With Love,
Akiko~
