AlexionPro

Omg we love a man willing to reach out and ask for help. I hear they have support groups for people like you.  www.reddit.com
          Really check out r\niceguy

Today was the beginning.
          
          
          I told them I was going to stop my treatments and chemo.
          
          In a weird way. . . I'm ok. 
          
          I feel ok. 
          
          With everything. 
          
          I'm ok with death. 
          
          If I see him in 5 years I'll greet him as an old friend.
          
          
          I'm free. 
          
          I'm free. 
          
          It's time for me to move forward. 
          
          
          

It's one of those nights

Wild couple of days. 
          
          Annoying having to be in the hospital for days just to verify if what's happening is happening. 
          
          Also, walking down those steps sunday night really hit different. All those memories, thoughts and emotions rushing me.
          Putting my heads up, walking down to goodbyes by post malone. Really hit. 
          
          Maybe that's why I was put in the hospital for. 
          
          
          I walked up those steps to embrace the past. 
          I walked down them to let go and start a new chapter. 
          
          Thank you Edison and Dylan. Yall may never see this but you made my last night a better send-off then I thought.  

Up In less then 30 minutes.  Nervous. Butterflies in my stomach. What will I search for up on that stage. I'll play my heart out and hope it's enough. 

You really are becoming the things you'd never thought you'd be again Alex. The things you hate. You lead yourself down this path of self destruction knowing full well what you are doing you fucken idiot. But whatever numbs you right?

Damn I just realized it's Halloween week. This weekend marks my last 2 shows. I already have the "theme" picked out. I'm thinking the intros can either be Seinfeld or something from Atlanta.  I'm going to go out with a bang. Next two months are going to be hard af.

Gingers mom really do be dropping those gems. But I guess single mums have to know how to hold down the fort.
          
          I'm just relieved that this shit didn't spread to my throat.  30% chance still tho so who knows. 
          
          And supposedly I was supposed to be getting better

Each day I get worse and worse and worse. They said the medication and treatment would help me. They said that I should be improving and they my hair will come back. I just seem to get worse and worse. I can't even keep any food down and I bealry get w hours of sleep a night. 
          
          
          This is bullshit tbh.

I don't believe in coincidences anymore.
          
          
          That family of turkeys crossing that town little by little ment something.  
          
          God works in mysterious ways man