Anoushka Chawla

For the longest time, I've detached from my feelings towards most of the things. If I always plastered a smile on my face and created positivity around, I thought I'd never be vulnerable. I guess that made me ascetic and unsure of myself. When I started reading novels and started writing, I knew I could open up myself to the pen and paper and I'd still feel strong. Writing became a haven for me, a safe house. It was as if I walked around wearing this veneer and when I was in my safe house, I could undo the layers of my cover ups. I realized I could write about anything, my deepest desires or my newfound high school crushes, it was my confidant, my path to normalcy. Until it was made clear to me that I was closing off from people more than ever. I was stubborn, didn't listen, carried on with my self harm until recently when I decided it was time to trust myself with trusting people in general, and so I made whatever I wrote public. I put it out there. Did it make me feel vulnerable? probably. But I read this somewhere and decided to just wing it, "we're always walking on eggshells". Here I am yet again, at my third attempt to write a novel.