Uno/Ash

HELLO OMG ARE YOU STILL ALIVE

Man I gotta be the stupidest mf on the planet istg-
          My partner will ask if it's okay for them to do something, I'll say yes knowing damn well that I don't want them to do that, they'll ask again to double confirm so I will. Then they do it and I get upset and try to hide it but they can tell something is wrong so they ask if I'm okay and mY LYING ASS SAYS YES SO THEY SAY OKAY AND MOVE ON FROM THE CONVERSATION BECAUSE DUH BUT IM STILL NOT OVER IT AND THEY DONT EVEN KNOW BUT IF I TOLD THEM THAT IM NOT OKAY WITH IT NOW THEN THEYLL FEEL BAD FOR DOING IT AND ALSO ILL LOOK STUPID BECAUSE I SAID YES BEFORE AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN I CHANGE MY MIND?? 
          I FUCK MYSELF OVER FROM THE BEGINNING KNOWING DAMN WELL HOW EVERYTHING IS GOING TO PLAY OUT AND YET I S T I L L DO IT.
          There's somethin wrong with me fr
          And my immediate solution to the problem? Is either run away and hide until they break up with me/forget about me or break up with them so that I don't have to deal with it anymore. In reality I don't WANT either of those options but in my head those are the only two, that's it. And then I wonder why my relationships don't last that long pffff

When you finally go to write for the first time in a while and Wattpad just ends up being all fucky ughhh figure your shit out man.
          Like it keeps trying to put all my paragraphs in the middle instead of the left side, anytime I try to put bold on certain words, it ends up making the ENTIRE thing bold and when I try to change it back it does the same thing with the regular lettering and anytime I try to edit something in the middle of the chapter instead of the bottom it'll teleport my screen to the bottom IN THE MIDDLE of writing it like why?! 

Where the fuck has this liking the comments thing been for like the entirety of Wattpad- I feel like it's almost too late to add it, I can't tell if I like if or not.
          Cuz as an author who sometimes doesn't know how to respond to comments, it's kinda nice that I can just like them to acknowledge that I read all of them but at the same time, I feel like it's gonna get old quick when everyone is just liking some stupid comment from 6 years ago and Wattpad doesn't really have a way to filter out different notifications like other platforms do.

Okay yall we're right. I had nothing to worry about with the date- I now have a significant other alsgoahaiaubsia-

I know I should be happy, the person I've been talking to for a while finally said that they really like me and if our date on Monday goes well that we should make it official and stuff and I was happy at first, but the more that they talked about how happy they were with me and how I made them feel.. I just felt like shit because I know that they won't like how I am irl. They keep calling me hot when I only show them the good pictures of me and I know I'm not. I know once they meet me irl they'll be disappointed and I don't want them to feel like they're trapped and have to like me just because they said all that stuff. And they've already expressed that they're a person to cut off all contact when they feel trapped/guilty in a situation and I feel like that's exactly what is going to happen even though they said I'm a keeper and that they'd never leave me without reason but I know they will. Even when they express happy feelings towards me like this I should be happy to have someone finally but I'm not. All I have is a ball of anxiety and a lump in my throat at the thought that in just a few days they'll realize I'm not who they thought I was and they'll never want to speak to me again. 
          I'm sorry for ranting here I know it's stupid but I've got no where else to rant without feeling like a burden to friends who also barely like me as is. 

My abandonment/attachment issues:
          The person I'm talking to rn anytime we agree on anything: Omg you're definitely a keeper
          Me: ah-
          
          (I should note that by "person I'm talking to rn" that basically means that we don't consider each other friends rlly because we both like each other and we know it but we're not dating yet because we've only known each other for like a month so yeah-)

Me reading my own writing at first just trying to remember where I was at but ending up getting super invested in my own story and getting mad when I see I've left it at a cliffhanger-
          I'm literally that Obama meme where he puts the medal on himself lmfaoo

Omfg after DAYS of back and forth between my mom and tech problems I FINALLY managed to change my Wattpad email to my own to be able to deal with my original issue with the app and get help with that. It was such a stupid and long process just to switch a fucking email. Thank God it's over now though and finally it's connected to my actual email.

Don't mind if my Genshin books cover art changes a lot, I'm trying to find some good art for a book cover while also finding an artist who is okay with reposting and I can actually credit because MOST OF THE FUCKING ART I FIND IS CLEARLY STOLEN WITH EITHER REALLY BLURRY WATERMARK OR JUST NOT THERE AT ALL
          At this point I might just use official art which isn't a bad choice, a lot easier tbh.