Noelle

Anyone else have a dis-functional family. My father just punched a hole in the wall next to me. My mom left again after I called her selfish...for many reasons. and now we're having a weird heart to heart conversation now. Like I get that you know I make mistakes but everyone does. It's what makes us human but they need to have a little more faith in me. I'm not religious but if I were I'd be going to hell. And idrc. Like I'm at that point in my life where physical pain is the only thing that can cover up the mental pain. All i want to do is feel things. But I'm overly emotional. My emotions are amplified. Like x10 the normal persons. But really all I can do is just wait. I've hit the bottom and now I'm digging. Eventually I'll find my way up.

I want to get out of this fucking house. I'm tired of being locked up in here and I'm tired of not being able to talk to anyone. Like yeah I don't mind staying inside like the rest of the world should be doing, but my parents are insistent that I can only text/call my friends if I do chores, but that's the problem. I cleaned my room and that still wasn't enough. "oh you need to do this, this, this, this, this, and this. And then It'll be finished. " Like I didn't just stay up for two fucking days straight cleaning my fucking room and my house. Nothing I ever do is good enough. And what sucks more is when you get blamed for something you didn't even do... I realize others have it way worse, but I'm actually going insane where I might start doing something just for the hell of it. Like I don't even have a reason besides wanting to leave, being hella lonely, and losing my god damn fucking mind. Anyone else feel this way? I hope I'm not the only one... Like this fucking virus shit wouldn't happen as badly if we just had a purge. Like please for god fucking sakes lets have a purge. I will do whatever it takes to get them to consider it. Like hell yeah I get to do something I've always wanted to try. People this is the real me. A sad, lonely, prick who likes watching crime shows and horror movies because she likes the blood. But I'm to weird for people so I don't get that opportunity to make friends because I'm to honest and open about my opinion. SO if ur bored DM me or just comment.