How do I start this..



Some say I made Ellen DeGeneres straight

Others say I died 4 years ago but Death hasn't built up the courage to tell me this yet

And a few know that I've been to Mars... that's why there's no life there now.



Just joking around!

Not really.

Okay I'm joking.

I'm lying.



So I'm Brandon.. and some may know me from @HowBoysThink



Things you should know:



1.) I'm an idiot.

2.) My feet are huge, wink wink, nudge nudge, tickle tickle

3.) I often throw my phone around to see if it will break and then laugh about it.

4.) I love cars. Petrol runs through my veins, not blood.

5.) I cough random sexual words in awkward situations.

6.) My friends are dipshits.

7.) I study shit in University that makes me stressed.

8.) I date so much that my parents nickname them all "sweety1, sweety2...."

9.) I have a short temper which is good because people don't like testing it out.

10.) I wanted to be a tiger when I was young... Nobody told me that humans can't fucking evolve.



Yes, I'm a player. Yes, I'm a bit of a jerk at times. Yes, I don't seem like that on Wattpad because the internet never rustles my jimmies.