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Genuinely kind of tired my life right now. Sure it's mostly my fault but I'm tired. 
          	
          	At this rate I might just end up shutting everyone out (irl) since I might just be sticking and hiding out in my room since I think my dad hates me right now (he says he doesn't, but I don't believe him). I'm tired of him comparing me to my brother, like I'm sorry I can't be good enough for your fucking standards. 
          	
          	Maybe if I'm a disappointment to you, then you shouldn't have had so many fucking kids? I might have well as been a waste of space and money for the last 17 years. I think I might just move out and go live with my grandpa or something, and find a job. I don't want to be anywhere near my dad right now.
          	
          	I feel like there is visible favoritism amongst all of his kids, with my younger brother (just a year younger than me) being his favorite. He also just assumes stuff, which I absolutely hate with a burning passion. Don't just assume something just because of my actions. He thinks that I think it's 'cool to skip school and not do my work'.
          	
          	No, he's fucking wrong. School is hard, I'm lazy (he thinks I'm 'proud' to admit it, but I'm not. it's just the truth), and because of his high ass standards he has. The stuff I've been learning is probably much harder than that of what he has learned back in his day. He himself has admitted to not being able to help.
          	
          	And he wonders why I don't even talk to him. He assumes stuff, and. He also passes stuff off as something else when I try talking to him. And most of the time, nine out of ten, it's because I 'need to exercise'. He even called me a fat ass once himself.
          	
          	He's got to learn that I'm getting older, and will lash out at him, talk back and so on. I'm fucking seventeen, I'm a teenager. That's how they all are.
          	
          	(yes, I'm admitting my age on here; just know I don't act my age at all).
          	
          	He even goes as far as telling me 'no boys'. Like what if I don't even like them? What will you do then? He probably thinks if I hang with one