𝔡𝔞𝔫𝔶

Momma i'm in love with a killer noodle, i should be medicated 

the first thing i'd buy is a real life wax figure of zack mf foster to put next my zack shrine. with a real scythe and everything. in the church of zack foster we trust, amen 

one fucking day i'm going to publish a book and it's going to be SO GOOD everyone's gonna be buying and i won't have to work for freaking assholes ever again. puh. that's me manifesting- speaking it into existence. sky daddy make me rich, filthy rich. MAKE ME THEE RICH MAN. i promise to open lots of huge beautiful sanctuaries that will be the safe haven for stray dogs that need a forever home. 

who needs twitter when you got the wattpad's conversation section? it's literally the same thing- posting your thoughts and have nobody read em sksjsjsjdjjGAAAH 

see i TRIED to do a whole different zack fic, and i did grow fond of the oc, she was pretty cool. but why did i feel so TERRIBLE while writing it that i had to delete it from existence!? i felt like i was betraying red lmao like miss gurl that's YOUR man, i'm sorry i was foolish enough to try and say otherwise 

if i could choose to completely rewrite tcr- I FREAKING WOULD. id change so so muuuuch! especially zack and red's ~first time~ i feel like it should have been WHAT SMASHING A WHOLE ASS CRAZED KILLER WOULD BE. totes more steamy yet a lot more intense. also the slow burn wasn't that freaking s l o w, like at all lmao which was what i thought i was going for- where's the enemy to lovers at ?! red should have had a bit more resentment than complete fear towards zack imo lots of colliding and butting heads. more stubbornness but still have those moments that makes you fucking squeal and kick your feet like a schoolgirl. i want that. will i ever do it? probs friggin not 

my life is crumbling so bad rn but i'm obsessively focused on my ᶻᵃᶜᵏ fic bc it's the one of the few things that is keeping me afloat rn. sucks that i keep drafting and changing things constantly tho. IDEAS COME AND DIE SO F A S T AND NOTHING SATISFIES ME. i'm so annoying 

i lost an amazing description of zack smoking looking so hawt and i can't even remember how i wrote it :'( i suuuuck old fungal toes 

i'm very upset bc i was super ahead, had a handful of chapters my dumbass kept in a single file on my notes app that just needed cutting into their own chapters and proof reading ready to be set for updates - jumped into my stupid ipad and it fucking deleted! i wanna rage so hard. this is why being lazy never works, i'm so freaking stooopid 

i don't know what to do anymore...