Kevin MacMillan

Many stories of mine feel...unfulfilling to me when I read them myself.
          
          I have a bad habit of having a need for perfection for my works. This causes me to always examine my works and end up improving or even remaking/remastering them entirely. Sometimes this can end up in the story ending up completely different from what it was intended to be(at least that's what I fear).
          
          So in case some of my "older" stories are not like they once were, it's because they've fallen victim to my perfectionism.
          
          My Dead by Daylight-Stories as an example have fallen prey to this(not all but some). Especially the first story I made for "The Trapper". And that particular story went through many changes, where the plot for the trigger point changed.
          
          It's like I'm creating/modding a game and improving on it because there's this little bit I don't like and then I end up remaking the whole shell even though there was only the need to improve the little bit.
          
          Since Wattpad saves versions of works when editing, I may consider putting up the old versions at some point or stick to the decision of remaking/remastering them.
          
          I presume mostly my older stories will be more likely to be remastered instead of the newer ones.
          
          I'm sorry for this. At some points it is good to improve things but I feel like I am also damaging them by doing so.

During my migration phase to AO3, there are certain stories which I...do not find very suitable.
          
          These being ones playing in the dimensions of Friday the 13th: The Game and Rainbow Six Siege.
          
          Rainbow Six Siege is totally cringe in my eyes when it comes to the stories I have written because they are literally...well I don't know...blunt and direct and way too quick when it comes to intimacy. Keep in mind these were made few years ago with little changes over time.
          
          I'm not feeling comfortable migrating these stories over to AO3 but in the end I might even get in trouble for keeping these stories here on Wattpad.
          
          When it comes to Friday the 13th: The Game it's not the content which is affecting me, it is the fact that I broke one of Jason's unique traits he is known for: muteness. I made him talk in my stories because...well...other books where he talked inspired me to do it but when I look at AO3, there's not a single work or maybe there is but well hidden, where Jason is actually talking. My works in that category would feel out of place there.
          
          Maybe I will change my stories so that either reader is telepathically communicating with Jason similar like he does with his mother or I would change all dialogues coming from him with some kind of mute response.
          
          Until I make a decision I will for now only migrate my DBD Stories and Mandalorian Stories etc to AO3. Possibly even some of the crossovers I made in the mini-stories.
          
          It's not that I regret writing them...well...ok, no kidding, I regret writing the R6 stories. Too direct, no good plot and...possibly even violating content guidelines.
          
          Friday the 13th: Blood Brothers and Undead Conscience/Loving the Undead will also not be moved to AO3 and stay exclusive on Wattpad.
          
          I will however migrate Dark Pictures Devil In Me - Eyes of Darkness over to AO3.
          
          I hope this is understandable. Maybe there can be a better solution but for now this will be the one I will be taking.
          
          Thanks for your attention!

I am thinking about copying my works to AO3 to better categorize my stories and reach a wider audience. Do not worry, I will not retire from Wattpad. I will offer a new place to read my stories from. My Mini-Stories will be made into seperate series on AO3 and I may also consider moving my other works there like Undead Conscience or Blood Brothers.
          
          More information about that in my newest A/N in Mini-Stories.
          
          I hope that my works will be welcomed with open arms.

You are the reason why I get erect every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sundays.

I'm turning one year older today :)

I am thinking about changing my username...
          
          However I don't have any good ideas. I'd like to take a username, which shows the connection I have with the different dimensions I am maintaining in form of stories and mods.
          
          If you got any good ideas, let me know.

Been a while, since I posted here.
          
          
          Anyway...I wanted to let you know that you can feel free to leave suggestions for the Mini-Stories and I may make those true.
          
          I won't do any new books but I will continue doing Mini-Stories, so don't hesitate requesting.
          
          Just keep in mind that not all requests may be considered. I'm a busy man and I got needs 

It might be that I won't post as much as I used to.
          
          Reason being that I'm back in school...as part of my job training. It started this Monday.
          
          I finally accomplished a goal of mine which I had pursued after graduating at my last school.
          
          I just need to share this with you, so you will know my current state.
          
          Don't worry. I'll still post from time to time.

It's finally over...
          
          I wrote the last of my exams. I am exhausted...but relieved.
          
          I never imagined how I would feel with those exams constantly nagging on the back of your mind, not letting you rest.
          
          I always had to think about them, while playing...while modding and while writing.
          
          All that is over now. I can enjoy the freedom I yearned for in those last days.
          
          Thank you, everyone. For giving me the motivation I needed to keep fighting till the end.
          
          From now on I can return to my usual habits without any major distractions.
          
          Thank you ☺️

I know I said that I wanted to stop working on stories for now...but after giving it some thought I've come to realize that writing stories doesn't seem as stressful as the other things I'm doing besides of it. From my point of view writing stories  helps me through this phase, calms me down from the stress I'm enduring so I'll just...continue with it.
          
          These past days I caught myself continuing to work on stuff that have nothing to do with the exams even though I'm continously telling myself that I have more important things to do. But in reality this makes it only worse. Once I make myself a task I'm stuck on it and all my focus is put on it. It's hard to stop and if I just try to force myself to stop without actually wanting to, I would have a hard time getting my head clear. That's one of my bad habits unfortunately.
          
          I make mods for games besides writing stories and that alone is a much harder thing to do than this. 
          
          Wattpad is easier because I only have to write and that's it. No complicated stuff. My ideas are all coming in automatically without me doing anything. This is the easiest out of all the work I'm doing in my freetime.
          
          I'll try to take it easy and not strain myself. I'll do what I want to do and if it gets too stressful I have people I can talk to and certain methods I can use to ease my stress.
          
          I'm personally not really worried about my exams by now. I am certain my pre-exam marks are fine and no matter the outcome I would pass anyway. May sound naive but I've made it this far with that exact mindset and I have a high chance to finish it this way.
          
          This doesn't mean I'll stop learning however...I just need things to keep me on balance and this is one of them.
          
          So...I'll just continue where I left off. Sorry if I somehow lied to all of you. I was in a state where I was afraid of my future but I had a conversation with my teacher the day after the previous post who was able to ease my fears away that's how I came to this conclusion.