brigid

Just so you all know, none of you would last ten minutes in the world of my imagination. So yea. You have been warned.

WE ARE GIRLS:WE RUN AROUND WHILE WE BRUSH OUR TEETH. WE READ THE SHAMPOO BOTTLE IN THE SHOWER. WE LAUGH AT OUR OWN JOKES BEFORE WE TELL THEM. WE CAN READ A SENTENCE 10 TIMES WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING IT. WE GO INTO THE SHOWER AND FORGET OUR TOWELS SO WE HAVE TO MAKE A RISKEY RUN TO OUR BEDROOMS HOPING NOBODY SEE'S US. WE PUSH DOORS EVEN WHEN THE BOLD LETTERS IN FRONT OF US SAY 'PULL'. WE SAY 'WHAT' EVEN IF WE HAVE UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING SOMEONE HAS SAID TO US. WE HATE IT WHEN THE WIND MESSES UP OUR HAIR. WE CAN SEE THE SAME MOVIE 10 TIMES. WE HAVE TO CALL OUR OWN PHONE TO FIND IT. WE CAN LOOK AT THE CLOCK WITHOUT SEEING WHAT TIME IT IS. WE TURN OUR PILLOW OVER TO LIE ON THE COLD SIDE. WE SET THE ALARM CLOCK TO RING AT AN EARLIER TIME SO WE CAN LAY IN BED LONGER. BEFORE WE GO TO BED WE CALCULATE HOW MANY HOURS WE GET TO SLEEP. WE TRY AND DO THINGS BEFORE THE MICROWAVE BEEPS. WE CLOSE THE FRIDGE DOOR REALLY SLOW TO SEE IF THE LIGHT STAYS ON. WE BALANCE THE LIGHT SWITCH BETWEEN ON AND OFF.PUT THIS ON YOUR PAGE IF THIS IS THE KIND OF GIRL YOU ARE.

I understand how Scissors can beat Paper, and Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap itself around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't Paper do this to Scissors? Screw Scissors, why can't Paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of collage ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes? I'll tell you why:because Paper can't beat anybody. When I play Rock/Paper/Scissors I always chose Rock. Then when someone claims to have beaten me with their Paper I punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say 'Oh I'm sorry I thought Paper was supposed to protect you, you asshole'!