Ghost Pal (she/they)

Anyone who's still here, first of all thanks for sticking around for this long. Second of all, I'm officially abandoning this account. 
          
          Sorry y'all, I've been on ao3 for two years at this point and I'm not looking back. 
          
          I'm officially starting my UT HSAU soon on ao3, and I'm making a new account to crosspost here so there's none of my 2020 cringe lol. Both of them will have the username "Ghosts_Multiversal_Mindsoup" if you would like to read.
          
          A huge thanks to everyone on here and my old friends. I will never forget you, and how you all helped me find myself <33
          
          See you all on the other side, wherever that may be
          —Ghost

*boop* You have been booped! Now go boop 20 more amazing people!

Fuck PE, fuck the school system, anarchy will come for us all eventually and I will do more than just flirt with death. 

"When gods die, they die hard. It's not like they fade away, or grow old, or fall asleep. They die in fire and pain, and when they come out of you, they leave your guts burned. It hurts more than anything you can talk about. And maybe worst of all is, you''re not sure if there will ever be another god to fill their place. Or if you'd ever want another god to fill their place. You don't want fire to go out inside you twice." 
          
          -Gary Schmidt (Wednesday Wars)

"If I had a nickel for everytime I found a fanfic on Ao3 for someone, I'd have two nickels. Now that isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice." -Me
          
          Ngl it's pretty fun to search through Ao3 for fanfics to help my friends. It makes everyone happy :))

So update: 
          I asked my therapist if I have anxiety and he said that I definitely have anxiety and depression (he said that they're both very commonly found together?)
          
          Add that to the PTSD and probable insomnia -_-

Happy new year! 

New years resolution: reread one of the first fanfics I've ever read.
          
          https://my.w.tt/QOTyqJgeGcb
          
          This is one of the first fanfics I ever read, starting back in early 2018. I started BNHA fics in 2019 and I found most of my friends this year when I decided to jump in on a comment chain.
          
          I started writing in late 2019, before forming my friends and the amazing writing community.
          
          I love all of you, and hope this is a good enough homage for all that you've done for me. 

Happy new years eve! I hope that we all learned something along the way, even though we all suffered.
          
          I raise a soda to a new year, a new us, and a new wave of fanfic to find and love and write.
          
          Thanks to you all, I've had one of the best years of my life for discovering myself and discovering what I love. I wish the best to all of you.
          
          You've made it, and you will continue to grow in ways that make you better.
          
          Happy new year,
          -Flaff

So I think I have anxiety.
          
          I've always been incredibly nervous when I have a lot of notifications (more than ten is usually the threshold I think) and when I haven't seen everything, I think I'm missing something so I have to read everything that's going on around me. Like old discord notifications from weeks ago or a bunch of tumblrs posting things.
          
          I feel like I have to know everything but if I don't do it immediately, I'll fall off the face of the earth trying to get the courage to respond.
          
          "Oh new text. I'll reply to it after I finish this video."
          "Oh I'll just answer it tomorrow."
          "It's fine! I'll answer it in a couple minutes, before it's too late."
          "..."
          "it's been a week and they won't stop texting me, how do I even begin to approach the situation? Much less explain myself??"
          "I'm such a shit friend, I've worried them so much and I don't even know how to tell them what's been happening with me or what I've been feeling. How do I move forward? I don't want to leave them like I'm used to. What do I do?"