shelby mcculloch

My name's Shelby McCulloch. I'm bisexual. I'm 18 and i live in Maine. I'm an open book to those who choose to read, and it will be up to them to stay; but there's only every been 4 cases of people reading my entire book and who weren't afraid of me afterwards. I'm the oldest of 9 kids biologically, but I'm the youngest of 17 foster kids. Im very understanding of everything and ill listen to anyone. I'm going to college to become a social worker, but oddly my dream job is to be a waitress; it allows me to be social and work with people and food. I get along with alot of people and actually most. Let's just say, my astrological symbol fits me perfectly. Im a Leo. I'm strong and independent. I want all the attention in the world by the one who loves me. I'm loyal, I'm protective of my friends, family, and the person who loves me. Being a Leo means my planet is the sun (which how the sun is a planet i have no idea), meaning everything revolves around me, but honestly i dont want everything to that would be too much for me. I also have really bad anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I'm in foster care for a reason.I was abused since i was 7 and when i was 16 i finally called the coped and went into care. there's more than just abuse behind my past. but thats what i have to hide until i know that someone will stay. I have bad anxiety, and twitching is a side effect; sometimes ill have a flashback bad enough to make it look like I'm having a seizure but only one person has seen that. People say I'm beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, stunning. but they see the surface. I deny what people tell me because they only see the surface. But when someone finally looks under the surface to see the monsters underneath, and still say I'm beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, or stunning, then maybe ill let them in. But when someone sees the hell ive been trough and says I'm a warrior, a survivor, a fighter, that will be the person ill choose to love.
Holy shit... you read all of this.