KitSerenKirby

HI! i just published the first chapter of a new fic, so like maybe check it out 
          	(づ ̄ 3 ̄)づ

KitSerenKirby

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I haven't gotten a proper amount of sleep in a long time, and i am about ready to shoot myself. I feel like crying, for no reason. Istfg I will pay anyone here to come kill me, and make it like an amazing murder mystery for the other people in my life. Like I'm in such A self destructive mood right now, and I think I'm going insane. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. fuck my stupid genetic mental disorder bull shit. I want to either kill myself or someone else. Also thanks for listening to me being crazy, don't judge me too much, lack of sleep really messes with my head

-cryinf

@Jadekirbyyy
            
            dw we can be insomniacs and crazy people together uwu
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fallen_angel42069

Try to listen to relaxing music. If you listen to it while you try to go to sleep your mind focuses on that and blocks out any other thoughts. It also helps your subconscious mind relax and ease you into a deep sleep. Or you could try to listen to calming music to relax yourself. If it’s just to relax yourself I’d recommend listening to “Yuri on Ice”
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itsadtime

Okay you said you want therapy spill

KitSerenKirby

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@itsadtime Oh god, so to start my fun little mentally unstable train, I have terrible insomnia, like I roughly get 2-4 hours of sleep a night. I literally have to force myself on nights I have school, and then it takes me like 2 hours of sitting in the dark to sleep. I have major self worth issues, I constantly believe that I am not enough, which probably isn't rational, but that is what my brain tells me. I also constantly think people hate me/are mad at me. I'm always apologizing for literally no reason, but I still do it because I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I get into major fights with my parents, like to the point where people get kind of violent and we are screaming at each other (like seriously, not yelling, screaming) like my dad cut up my shit, then went into my room with a trash bag, and took all of my stuff. I have self harming issues, which I say I can't help, but I probably can, I just don't care enough to try. Thats a whole other issue too, I literally do not care at all, like about anything. I don't have enough energy to want to do anything or care about anything. I never want to do anything, I'm not passing school, like I don't even care enough to do the school work. I have terrible social anxiety, if I see another teenager, or odd looking human being, it sends me into a panic attack. My depression has bouts of getting really bad, to seemingly going away, to getting worse again. I have no good coping skills, so everything I do is self-destructive. I'm on a few different kinds of meds, but they don't really help me anymore. I always lie to my psychiatrist, saying that I feel fine, cause I don't like talking about my problems which isn't healthy. I've had several different suicide attempts, which obviously hasn't worked. I also have been hospitalized several times for these reasons. also I still plan on killing myself, just not for a few more years. Like I have given myself an expiration date, and I will kill myself on it. This is the surface
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KitSerenKirby

I would like to start a cult, and I want us to steal a plane and fly into the sun. Anyone who wishes to join may, I need followers in said cult

thyvillainoflife

@Jadekirbyyy I'll just be one of the beings in the back of the scene so I'm in
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fallen_angel42069

Bet. I’ll bring drinks
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KitSerenKirby

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So for some reason my fucked up mind likes to read depressy messy fan fics, which prolly isn't good for my mental health, but if anyone is a dumb ads like me, I suggest going to my reading lists, cause I got some good shit in there, and I wanna share it

izzyandabby

@Jadekirbyyy Thank you! I read depressing stuff all the time.
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KitSerenKirby

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Sometimes I wish that I wasn't to old to be given up for adoption. Like yeah mom, Ik I'm a bitch, but you don't have to scream in my face, and blame me for shit tht isn't even my fault. My parents also think that I like don't feel anything. Like yeah whatever, sometimes I fake emotions, but just because I don't show empathy doesn't mean I don't have any. Like I want a new family, better yet, put different families in a room, and let ME adopt one of them, I will choose the best. Sorry for being dramatic for ayayone reading this, I'm just pissed

KitSerenKirby

@aizawa_mood I could take your man if I want to (but lucky for you, I don't want to)
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