Do you all ever have those moments...
Where you just realise there's only one member of your family that you trust...and you wanna know if they're okay many times...And you grow really attached to them.
But then you get too attached that you start thinking about what your life will be like after they pass. Like...Will I ever be the same without them?
The person I'm attached to is my nan. She really is the best nan anyone could have. She's probably in her 60s now I think. Everytime I've had mental breakdowns, I'd walk to my grandparents house and tell her everything. And in a few minutes I would be nice and calm.
But recently I've just had so many thoughts of the day she passes or days after she passes. And everytime I do, I just cry my eyes out. I really don't think I would be here right now if it wasn't for her. She has saved my life so many times.
I don't think I can live my life without her. She's always been there for the big moments of my life. Like my first job interview, leaving high school, getting into college. I want her to be there for bigger moments like marriage and children. Yet I don't think she will be there.
I love her so much that I just don't want her to go.
I just thought I'd get this weight of my chest cause I was thinking about it again a few minutes ago.