Ah, the outdoors.
I always thought of it as nice, despite the fact that I don't often go outside.
I love the outdoors, as much as I love my hobbies, as much as the devices I play and sometimes work on. Heck, maybe even as much as life itself, because much like life, I love it despite of what it's through at me.
It takes a lot to remember that your classmates, your friends... your family...
You may not see them one day.
I hate to doubt someone who possibly given me something as real(if that's the right word?) as life but, IF Heaven isn't real.. if there really isn't an afterlife like it.. if there's only a black void... then that means I won't be able to see them again.
There's no proof, other than the words that people wrote in a book, that (I mean this in the nicest way possible) that some God had told them to write?
I don't completely trust the idea.. but I don't completely doubt it either, and the thoughts of it possibly being real makes me feel guilty that I have doubt.
I feel guilty for not completely believing in something, or someone, and why so..?
I can't confirm anything, and the thought of it really bothers me but it helps me too.
Not knowing if it's all real.. if the flowers that bloom are from a ruler of the universe, or simple just exist.. it makes me feel like I should appreciate everything more, because I don't know if I get another chance at life.
So here I am, sitting inside my home while loving the outside of it just as much, and these thoughts running through my head.
It feels nice to feel hopeful again.
Thank you for taking your time to read this long ranting of mine, I hope your day is more beautiful than the last.
