PassiveWeirdo

when you look here again you will notice I have not deleted the old posts.. that is because I love looking back and seeing this. Our history. Our progress. I do not want to remove our roots we have spent time carefully paving way for.

yamizein1dsoh9

Dо уоu publish оn Neobook ?

Dream1ng_Sunfl0wers

Apparently, dear, it is a platform for writers more serious than Wattpad
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Dream1ng_Sunfl0wers

@yamizein1dsoh9 
            What even is that?
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PassiveWeirdo

@yamizein1dsoh9
            Nope. Why?
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Dream1ng_Sunfl0wers

I know I'm nothing special. 
          I don't have actual social skills. I couldn't make friends if I tried. I'm constantly insecure and selfish. And I struggle roughly with my surroundings. I never know how to keep my mouth shut but.. honestly!? I probably would never talk about how I feel if we met. I try and be loving yes! I will use excitement to cover up my constant anxiety so those around me feel pleased instead of tired of me.. 
          
          I never talk about my problems to people around me. I never cry in front of people around me. As much as I suffer. As much as I cry. 
          
          You would hate me if you don't hate me now. I'm scared. I project my insecurities onto other people in hopes they don't end up like me. Hehheh. 
          
          I'm sorry. I love you. I'm aching and felt I needed to put it somewhere.

PassiveWeirdo

I believe if you were shown enough love and enough change, you'd show the very same. Same with your emotions. Covering it up doesn't fully mean it's gone, rather reserved because of fear or in some cases tiredness. 
            
            I don't hate you.. just.. get annoyed with you sometimes heh. it's okay to fear people.. most of them are literal horrible people. it's okay to be anxious. that's an okay thing to feel.. never hurt anyone except the person feeling it. so. if you ever feel it we can talk about it. 
            
            It'll be alrightt. you're doing good.. you're doing all you can. You're doing enough.
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Dream1ng_Sunfl0wers

And then when I do stuff like call I get so damn anxious and all I do is laughh and laughh. Andd.. go silent and freeze upp.. and die inside but. But. Talking to people makes me feel alive it makes me feel energized.. those are nice interactions with friends.
            
            
            But when i talk to my relatives i feel constantly drained thats because of what they did to me. No one would feel good if they were mistreated and had to continue to be around those people who hurt them...
            
            
            I rely on human communication but it scares me to death and makes my anxiety spike up. I'm energized but in the tired kind of excited way. I can't ever fully enjoy it.
            
            My life is constant misery.
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Dream1ng_Sunfl0wers

And the more time i spend on the internet the more i forget about it.
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Dream1ng_Sunfl0wers

I'm drawing them in track suits now it's official...

Dream1ng_Sunfl0wers

totally putting that in the story
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PassiveWeirdo

Night: lagging behind, screeching at corrupt who's seconds from the finish line
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Dream1ng_Sunfl0wers

MUHEHEHHHAHAHAHEH
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