Pax

You haven’t been on in a while, r u ok?

Helloo how are you doing? :) 

My discord: kittychan4959
          
          My Instagram: Kittymasterofall14 

You have been booped✨️✨️
          Put this on 20 profiles. Let the chaos spread

Bro I hurt my fucking knee and ankle at my soccer game and I’m staying home today
          Great

Tbh 
          I really love driving 
          My mom lets me drive her van every once in a while in my neighborhood or just now around my school parking lot bc no one is here as practice for the on road part of my drivers ed class and it’s so fun 
          
          Sure imm scared to go over 25 mph and will usually stick to 20 mph even when I will get pulled over for being 15 below the speed limit but it also lets my brain focus on stuff that isn’t suicide and other shit

My brain won’t let me message any of my irl friends anymore bc of one time I was triggered by my gf- 
          
          Anyhoo
          How are you all? Hopefully much better than me

Hey
          Random question 
          For a friend ha 
          How do you tell someone if they are triggering you without being rude?

Does anyone else hate the feeling of being alone?
          
          I feel like an ass whenever I say no one Ioves me. I know people do. People say it to me. My friends, my girlfriend, my family. But sometimes it feels fake. Not like a lie fake. But like a ‘how’ or ‘why’ fake. People can say it over and over to me again and again but I will still feel fake. 
          What’s the point in feeling if you’re only going to get hurt? What’s the point in living if you’re just going to get hurt? 
          Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends and my girlfriend 
          But it feels like at the end of the day, I’m just going to end up alone. I feel like I talk but no one listens. I feel unheard. I feel ignored. I feel like I ache for something I don’t know the word for. I know everyone leaves eventually. I feel like nothing is forever. Everyone grows old one day. Everyone grows apart slowly. 
          My parents did. My grandparents on both sides are divorced. My friend group from middle school is completely broken up. I’m still friends with two people from then. I couldn’t stay in contact with any of my friends from previous times, I have phone numbers but no reason to call or text. I have the phone number to my oldest friend. But I find it hard to connect again, even if we have so much in common. 
          I’m scared. I’m scared of ending up alone. I feel like I don’t connect with the human race. I feel like an outsider in my own body and mind. Nothing feels right anyone, everything is upside down. I hate it. I’m in drivers Ed, I’ve wanted to feel grown and be an adult for so long now but I find myself scared of getting older and growing apart from people. I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared. It feels like everywhere I go I’m having problems socially. I feel like I can’t connect anymore. Like the thing in my brain that is supposed to connect with people and things is broken now. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Something feels broken. But idk what is. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be living in this planet. It doesn’t feel

BRO 
          MY FUCKING SOCCER COACH NUST SAID I NEED THERAPY
          
          Why?
          Bc I joked saying I don’t remember a lot of my childhood 
          She said I probably blocked out a lot of it