@PorcelainSoldier
To update you on my life, I had recently moved again, college is still a thing, got another job, joined a gym and I am rewriting the book in the original way I wanted to write it. Things got crazy for a bit! Hope you guys can forgive me for falling off the face of the earth a lot. Life just happens. By the way, the chances of me enlisting to the military is starting to increase.
Thank you so much for the follow, I am in LOVE with your book.
Sorry if this is random and weird sounding but... Your awesome. Like really awesome. Like awesome to the point I want to be with you, I want to hang around you. You are no idiot. You aren't blind to the craziness of the world because you know what it can do. Look life is shitty, but people like you are the reason I believe in us. In the ones who are trying to make it. Because we will. Humanity seems fucked. It is. But I'm third shirty moments, even though it is so hard, it's great to just laugh. Laugh at the world for thinking it can take even a second of your previous time, and waste it on making you feel shity.
this is very random, makes no sense, and I'm half asleep rn so Idk how I'm making any sense, but. One thing I know to be true is you are delightful. I don't give a duck what people say, what has happened to you in the past, present, or what will in the future, or even what you yourself think. I think, I know, you are wonderful. and I wish I had someone as strong caring and wise as you in my life.
@Echo_Star_ I did write this as my scream, but I felt like no one got it and I was giving up. I thought I was going to be captive for the rest of my life and I felt like dying. I was trying to throw out my S.O.S. but what should I have expected? What could have been done? You are so spot on about how I felt and how I still feel. Some days I wanna quit but I haven't yet. I gotta keep fighting. I got to. There are more people out there that need a friend, someone who understands. I want to be that person who is a good friend, hopefully a great friend. Jude is based on the person who was holding me into a relationship I didn't want to be in. I didn't know what to do, but after four years... Four long years... I'm finally free. Thank you so much for your words!!!! They've helped me so much. I have no idea what caused you to write to me but thank you for doing it.
@PorcelainSoldier When I read Scream Behind The Screen, I was moved to tears. It is so wonderfully written, and told so truthfully. Then I thought, I looked at your other activities, and I thought. I just had this feeling, like yes, this is a book, but this is also your scream behind the screen. Sorry if it's cheesy, but I just felt like you were reaching out. You were hoping someone would hear. And maybe I'm wrong. maybe I'm putting too much personal experience into this. But you are wonderful, and you will get through this. Sorry for being so repetitive, but it's true. Like I said, if you were ment to die, if you were ment to fall, it would've happened by now. Maybe I can be of further help, or maybe I can just be a supporter, here whenever you need me to lean on.
@PorcelainSoldier Of course. I hope you believe every word I say, though even if you dont, find it in your heart to know it's true. What you have been through, I have never known a person to been through something so hard and keep pushing. Thats what makes you strong. You keep pushing. You don't stop. Don't stop. You can make it. If you were ment to die, you would be dead by now. I promise you can make it out. And your heart might be splitting, being torn apart, but maybe I can help mend it? I've been through a lot, still going through it, but nothing near as bad as you. And that's why I'm not nearly as strong as you. You're doing so well, I know it seems nothing is going right, no one sees you, no one notices you trying so hard, you struggling. You think why is there a reason to keep pushing, right? Please, trust me, there is. Keep going. Hearing what you have and are going through, and hearing that you haven't given up, makes me so happy. Like almost in tears happy. I hear every day how people give up. I hear people who were once my friends, people I tried to help, now turned to drugs and alcohol and illegal crap to try and feel better. People like us, and I use us loosely, are vulnerable. We care so much, we're silent, and not many people see us. This may not apply to you as much me, but I suffer in silence. No one notices my pain because I always make it seem less than others. I put others first. When I see others suffering, others in pain, or others just needing a pick me up, but are too embarrassed to say anything, I can't help but reach out. I know what it feels like. I won't bee understand your struggle, because I haven't been through it, but I understand being helpless, being stranded, being left. Feeling so lonely all you want to do is find the nearest person, give them a hug and never let go.
Just got caught up on Scream behind the Screen, (took me a day and a half) and damn that is fantastic. One of the only things I've ever read that made me cry.
AND IT DID IT TWICE. You are a very talented writer, can't wait for an update but no hurry!
@Echo_Star_ thank you so much! this site still wont let me add new parts to the stories which irritates me but i will try to update soon.
"It's easy to risk everything when you have nothing." -Shane Koyczan
I'm sorry to ask, seeing you must be busy and all, but do you have a list of favorite Youtubers? My favorites are Jacksepticeye, Markiplier, Pewdiepie, Danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, and PopularMMOs. I was kinda curious which youtubers are your favorite. Sorry for asking! It must be weird to have a question like this be asked from a complete stranger. Sorry.
@RightousRaichu There's nothing to be sorry about. Every thing made me who I am and I wouldn't change for anyone or anything. No problem for my speaking. I am happy you appreciate it. There's a quote I like from this amazing poet (shane koyczan) he said "it's easy to risk everything when all you have is nothing." I like to hear his poetry. The reason I brought it up is because I like to risk everything since I have nothing to love violently the people around me even so they may hate me. I want to help as many people as I can, not just the right people. :) *gets off soapbox* X3
@PorcelainSoldier heh, I guess talking is something we have in common, eh? I'm sorry about your anxiety. But, thanks for saying what you said. I guess we just gotta grow stronger and find the right people.
@RightousRaichu No worries about the talking. And yes, I actually have that same goal. I've been really hurt as a kid, and I kinda want to do a drawing video going through some stuff in my life. I actually have been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and my anxiety around people is terrible, I'm basically afraid of everything and there's always that fear that everything will crash around me again. It's not fun. I do want to help people. I really do. I want to help as many people as I can who actually want to get better. I am going to be 19 soon and It's been 12 years since all the traumatic events happened, and it still lives with me. But I became stronger, had a change of heart. I know life can be horrible, but it doesn't always have to be that way. My coach (he's my father figure) told me I have every right to rebel and be angry at the world, but I'm not. (I wrote a five page poem that goes through my feelings of life and small hints of what I have experienced. He read it and now we might make it into a video.) I chose not to be bitter about the scars that don't belong to me. I wear them as jewelry now. I didn't let the chains of tragedy weigh me down, I turned those chains into a shield so no one could hurt me and add more chains, but strengthen my defense. It's hard, very hard, to become that way. But hey, I did it. It's not impossible. If you truly want to get better, you shouldn't find excuses to keep being miserable, but reasons to become unstoppable. Sorry for going on, I like to talk too. :)
Hello!
@Jokerwriting Boy, do I hear ya. It's hard to stay positive in rough times. Here's a reason why you should stay positive: because it's sexxi. |:3 I'm kidding. Or am I? Something I do to get through hard times is maintain my sense of humor. If you don't have a sense of humor, it could get harder than what it really is. (I wish the best for you.) If you need anything, I'm here. With no life. :p
HELLO
@NamelessJa I KNOW, LOTS OF THINGS ARE GOING ON. I'M IN A BIT OF AN EMOTIONAL STATE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY LITTLE SISTERS BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP AND THERE'S SO MUCH GUILT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO MAKE HER STILL BE ALIVE. IT WILL BE A THREE CHAPTER UPDATE, DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT THE STORY. :,)
HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT DRAWING
This isn't how I wanted to write my story. But that's how it is when you want to be discovered in one way or another.
