It's paining for me share or to even acknowledge the fact that my father deceased infront of my eyes and I was unable to do anything. I am going through lots of suppressed feelings. I don't know what's happening but I can feel the life slipping through my hands like Sand, no matter how I am trying to control it. In mere seconds, our life changed like we never expected and it's becoming hard for us to grip it with control. I can clearly feel the void in my heart. I became empty. I feel like screaming loud at Dad to "come back to us". The grief, the pain and the feelings seems very hard to ignore. They are so heavy in proportions that I am becoming numb to each and everything. Honestly I started hating God so much that I don't feel peace. It's like We got loads of responsibilities at once, it's difficult to handle and the decisions is hard enough to take without any will of our own. Keep him in your prayers and pray for my mother well being. I am sorry for all the ignorance of the messages and I am officially retiring from wattpad. This is my final and last goodbye. Hope you all understand me and support me in this hard times.