Shrimp Child

going on an account cleanse. deleting every work under this account, rest of the system be danged. notifs are annoying the shish outta me
          
          -W

My mind has just immediately thought of Wolf Spider, the evil Peter Parker variant with whole-ahh tarantula legs on his back, and wondered if he has bones.
          
          [Reason behind thinking this is because spiders don't have bones and move using blood pressure. They're walking boners, basically.]
          
          
          -S

Just made myself giggle by thinking of Spider-Man saying “Hey, how strong are your bones?” before punching someone in the face.
          
          [If you don’t know, he’s strong enough to punch off a jaw and also to punch a hole through a heavily armoured person.]
          
          -S

“Normalise writing “friend” instead of “lover” when writing about a couple even though they’re definitely having sex.”
               -Some translators about Gay couples, probably. 

E.

WE MISSED THE FUNNY NUMBER. TWO PEOPLE UNFOLLOW SO WE CAN GET OUR MOMENT RN :threat: [/j /j. I don’t think Z would appreciate that. lol]
          
              -B

The mental pain I get from looking at the follower count is just insane. It makes me want to make a new account and follow this one just so we get the funny number.
             -S

My instrument broke and now I'm suffering in silence as the ship now called My Life goes down because I'm not a 'me' and I'm actually a 'we'. Thank you, childhood trauma. Still gonna write though cuz Scott's gone system D-word from finding out about the system (Z's bad) and I'm normally the one who writes cuz I'm co-host. Scott don't even know we have works on this account, Imma be honest.
          
          Sincerely, S

Playing one of the instruments you find in an orchestra while going down with my life like it’s the titanic rn.

So let’s see my situation here!
          
          •Heart cancer
          •Ruptured both Achilles Tendons
          •Broken right arm
          •Funky blood levels
          
          Yeah. I’m not doing great. I can’t even write or walk anymore so now I’m just talking to my nurse about my special interests and boring the heck out of him. lol