@THEUMBER
"I guess the hardest thing is having so much love for you and it somehow not being returned. I develop crushes all the time, but that is just misdirected need for you. You are a hole in my life, a black hole. Anything I place there cannot be returned. I miss you terribly."^^^^^
Why do we always fall in love with the wrong person ?
To make it all miserable
And worthless.
@roughingloveumbrela sure , your works will be read and appreciated ! All the best !
hey
what if i fail again?
@THEUMBER Congratulations! I'm happy for you, dear. ✯ᴗ✯ God bless you. Stay safe. Be happy.♡♡
@Earthly_Star The good news is I didn't fail . Not entirely, at least. Thanks for your well wishes. They made me realise that I had been so negative about everything in life. It is alright now . I feel happy. I can't rely on anything in this world but I believe in myself. That's the best thing we could do . Love ourselves. Thanks again.
Congrats on winning the coming out contest ! <3
@THEUMBER it was great! Unfortunately I didn't enter because I didn't know it was happeningA
@1-800-SNAILFROG Thank you so very much. How did you like my entry? Did you submit one too?
HEY Y'LL
I am taking requests for mature one-shots.
Head over to ONESHOTS for more details.
DM me.
I'll try my best.
THANK YOU
To YOU
You know my dear darling for the past 6 years i held my shit together waiting for you.getting by each day in the expectation of being with you again.maybe the truth didn't hit me hard enough.its like when someone you love dies and you dont get it. you think they will be back soon. and then when they never come,after days after weeks or after years the reality slaps you in the face that your wait is futile.they are never coming back.you reel back too shocked and too hurt to do anything.thats how our situation turned out i guess.our love is already dead,cremated and scattered in the ganges.those memories of us will never be the same.people are losing their mind during this pendamic but i already lost it 6 years ago.now i realized i was in denial.yeah thats what this it.
but now that i have woken up and accepted it,its no more bearable.6 years before i was studying for college entrance waiting.i waited all through college knowing where to go.i completed college still in hope.everything was so beautifully planned.but i guess we were never meant to be.now i am just a dazed soul.a being without any sense of direction
Some days i wish i could forget you.actually most days i think that.i play scenarios where i never met you.how would that must have turned out? have you thought of that? why would you?you are getting on successfully with a good(i guess) girl beside you.you are over us.years ago.
i wish and i dont but darling know that i loved you and waited for you.right now i dont know what to do.what to do with the everyday thought of you.i just dont want to live in disillusion. i dont like myself in this state.somedays i imagine you by my side,listening to me talk,giving your reassuring smile at every dramatic moment and nothing else. the time seems like it had stopped because i know once it starts we will move on too.but that image of you smiling at me with love in your eyes makes me feel happy and content.
Now And Forevermore (not sure)
From ME who will always .
To YOU,
SO I wrote this ages ago and wanted to share it with you. its not about you exactly.but before you.
I was hearing this song called 'Love like this' by Ben Rector a lot during those days of attending classes continuously . And it had a line like this "It's a million things about you, and I don't know what it is
But I have never known a love like this"
i would love to list out some of the million things
the way your eyebrows burrow together showing your displeasure,jealousy and possessiveness whenever i hang out with my friends . your hand always by my side protectively ready to strike an insect away and even the loving arms of my girlfriends. oh those incredulous looks they would give. yeah girl! this one is completely insane so beware.
your eyes following me through the crowd or a party. the look of anguish creeping in them when you get distracted for a second and loose the sight of me in the next . your harsh but relieved scoldings after you successfully spot me again. they sound like honey to me and i cant stop smiling stupidly. the scared look in your eyes just before finding me again vanishing replaced with warm light. a slight smile on your lips .you getting impatient while friends gathered around , begging me to follow you to the hallway.to steal kisses and hugs.to be alone together. you kissing me on the nose endearingly and i giggling uncontrollably . you tease by biting it and hugging me close knowing that i will push you away irritably.
you knowing my every action before even i do.you handling my tantrums like a professional. a problem solver to all my issues, embarrassing yourself just to ease my anxiety.you singing along to my off tune songs .it sounds like rainbow to my gloomy rain-less days .even a million times beautiful than that. because its us that is precious to me. us which is no more.only snippets remembered but the existence counts. our existence. together
Now And Forevermore
From ME who will always .
To YOU ,
So happy birthday !!!
I have already wished you but I wanted to say more . So I'll say here .
I thanked you and said sorry for all those years . We had the best time when we were together but those times were painful too.
So I'll just say both .
I said sorry and thank you but I omitted to mention that I love you still. And missing you has become a chore now. It exists in my bone . Should I eat more calcium to make it stronger (hahahaha ...i m so funny )
Anyhow it's good to know you are having fun . Living your life like we talked about .Free and in the clouds. You are a strong person so I know everything will turn out just fine with you. Can I confess something?
All these years I blamed you for changing and hence to our present predicament .To all those hurtful words and heartache.But I know I changed too. Too much i guess .I knew that in my heart but that's ego i think. And writing here instead of saying it to you proves that ego beat me again. In those days it was too much there but now i think writing is all I can do.
Our views just diverged ,so being together got harder. But now I think it's okay. Not good.Not awesome . But okay .It could have been worse than that.
And I'll be with you even when it happens all over again .We'll diverge .But as i said that will be okay.i assure you it will be .It's bearable.
Oh I'm so gloomy .Its your birthday and all i do is write and blabber to you. That's just so boring.
So lastly I'll just say sorry for being so scornful towards you .
I'll write to you later .
Now And Forevermore
From ME who will always .
To YOU ,
I want to stop loving you but hate to not loving you .
So let me love ...............
.....................till the end of times !
I'll write some more later .
Now And Forevermore
From ME who will always .