Bleach

So you've read a cringe story so you came here to wash your hands out, wash your mouth out, and even wash your eyes out.
But never fear, for Bleach is here!
(Man speaking quickly at the end of a commercial): Side effects of using Bleach include:

The urge to eat pizza
The urge to eliminate someone
The regain of innocence after reading some nasty stuff (Y'all nasty!)

Oh... And also a risk of sudden death.
 
For all life's Bleachabe moments...

Chlorox Bleach

Just tag me and I shall cleanse your soul