ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ꜱᴇᴀ ꜱᴘɪᴅᴇʀ

If I had a nickel for every time someone called me "The Great Sea Spider", I'd have 239.5 nickels. Which is a lot and it's weird it's happened 239.5 times.

Pronouns: he/him, they/them & ze/zir/zem
Favorite Book(s): I Am Number Four, All Rivers Flow to the Sea
Musical(s): Be More Chill, Hadestown
"You don't start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That's why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence."
-Octavia Butler

Best friend: @YourLocalZombieBird
Side account: @Solacksonislife

Ways to keep a healthy level of insanity:
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
6. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
7. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
8. Order a Diet Water when you go out to eat, with a serious face.
9. Specify that your drive-through order Is 'To go'.
10. Sing Along At The Opera.
11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
14. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'