The_Bxby_Reader1428

I just lost my best friends because I didn't want to go to a bar. 

I gotta rant....
          
          My Ex done went out and got himself a "girlfriend" and both of them together makes me sick. 
          
          In the breakup messages he said he still loves me and that in the future we could have a relationship and then he goes out and gets himself a new girl! He already said he loves her and she spent the night at his place. 
          
          (Yes I creep on his FB) 
          
          I'm sitting here like, thanks for the false hope dude. 
          
          But that's alright. Imma get hot. Yeah, I just said that! I am gonna get hot and I will find me a better man who truly loves me and isn't a narcissistic jerk. 
          
          He gave me up without a fight. He is missing out though. I am fiercely loyal. My loyalty runs deep. I love with my whole heart, mind, and soul. I am on my way to a successful future. I am working on me and trying to be a better person everyday. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am fun. I am worthy. I deserve so much better. I can cook, clean, sing, and work hard. He truly missed out. He will regret it.
          
          I know for a fact he still checks out my Facebook because he likes and shared a few of my posts. Well, he can sit back and watch me shine. I guarantee he won't be able to replace me. He will look for me in others and fail. I can tell he isn't truly happy. I can see it in his eyes. 
          
          I also know it won't work out. From what I have seen on her Facebook page, she is.....entertaining.....other guys. She has a very crazy ex boyfriend that posted some scary stuff on her page. I see a disaster in the making. So many things are wrong with that whole situation. 
          
          Karma, is what it's called.
          
          Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go do some squats and lunges so he wishes he still had this ass. ❤✌

Sooooooootoday has been one of The worst days I have had in a while. I am a firm believer that if you have a super good day, one day, that you'll have a bad day the next. Well Sunday was very good for me. Today was the downfall. I will just hide on Wattpad and drown my heartbreak in romance stories that I will never have. Love is impossible for me. It hurts even more to realize I will never have the love that I read about. That's been my dream since I was a little girl but now, at 21, I realized that it just won't happen for me. 

Oh gosh guys...
          
          Things have been crazy for me.
          
          I found a guy who seemed like he could be the one. We met in person on Sunday and, I thought we had a good time. I gave him my first kiss. Now, things have drastically changed. Sooooooooo yeah.
          
          Then I have missed quite a bit of work because I have been feeling awful. I have been feeling this way for a while and next week I have a gynecologist appointment to see what they can do for me.
          
          *I am not pregnant. Can't be when I haven't done anything for that to even be an option. This is more of a....monthly problem. 

Waxed my upper lip by myself, hurts like crazy...

It's my birthday!!!

Sooooooo, the guy I like....
          
          Well, I must say, he's pretty amazing. Not that we are dating. I am way too painfully shy to tell him that I like him. 
          
          Anyway, he is quite handsome, very kind, funny, smart/wise, we share the same beliefs and values, we work together, he's just an all around "dream guy." 
          
          Although I think he likes another coworker of ours. Although they don't really share the same values and beliefs, they are always texting, Snapchatting, and other stuff.  
          Sigh....
          
          But I will say, even though I really really really like him, I want him to be happy, and if that's not with me then so be it. 
          
          Either way, I feel like I will be single forever. All of my friends are getting married and having babies. Gosh, you guys have no idea how much I want that stuff too. I want to love someone and be loved. I don't want to wake up one day and be an old dog lady (I'm not a fan of cats). It hurts my heart to see everyone have what I desperately want. 

Gahhhhhhh..... I had the worst day at work today!!!! If it wasn't one thing, it was something else. I have been doing well at my job recently but today just sucked, plus I think I have some sort of stomach bug. 
          
          
          I got quite as too. There's a day who has worked for the company for four years. She's pretty good at her job, and after today, I kind of envied her.
          Anyway, she was supposed to work the night shift but she didn't come in. She even said when our new work schedule was posted that she wouldn't come in because she doesn't want to work nights.
          
          I envy her because she is better than me, being in the company longer. I tried so hard today, I stayed through my whole shift no matter how badly I wanted to give up. I try so hard and rare her be so careless and ungrateful makes me mad. 

I need to rant and you guys are like the only ones I know I can talk to.
          
          So I recently got a job at a local pharmacy/store. We also rent videos too. I have been working as a cashier up front mostly. Well my manager has scheduled me to close the video area by myself this weekend. I will get some training tomorrow and Friday but I don't feel comfortable at all doing it by myself. I am more comfortable on the register as a cashier. I have expressed this many times and it doesn't seem to matter.
          
          Secondly, I have never been popular in school or anything else. Some coworkers are nice and fun to be around others aren't fun to be around. The ones who are fun to be around have their groups. I just feel awkward and left out. I tried fitting in with them but it just gets me weird looks. I don't even know what to do about that. 
          
          So yeah, that's my rant.

Hey guys or whoever may see my updates!
          
          So I have a complaint and I just want to get it off my chest. I would rather post it here than on Facebook or any other social network because you guys are strangers and I fell like I can be more open and honest with you guys than I can with friends and family.
          
          So, I have a serious crush on this guy who I went to school with and who I now work with. I really like him. But I am definitely not good enough for him.
          
          He is perfect in my eyes. He's very polite, he's kind to everyone, we share a lot of the same likes and beliefs. He is so funny too and outgoing. Of course my shy self hasn't said anything only because I don't believe I would be good enough for him. It hurts my heart to think this way but I feel as if it's true.