TylerJoseph06

I'm sorry I've been out..I thought I could make it..turns out I cant

The emptiest vessels make the loudest sounds

Have you ever done something and was afraid to tell anyone? Thinking that if you told them they would leave.

I don't feel pain anymore. I feel numb all the time. I want this numbness to end, I want to feel pain.

Ok so there is this girl that I like. I've liked her since I think 7th grade. We've had a lot of great memories together and she always made me smile. We dated last year and things got super awkward. I still loved her though. I've never told her that to her face, but I really want to. I'm always doing scenarios in my head if what I would say to her the following day but when I see her my mind goes blank. I never talk to her how I want to in my head. Even though I do talk to her sometimes it's not the same as it use to be. I wish we could go back to where she was at my house and we were watching movies. She did sleep during the last bit of the movie, but I was wide awake. We could even go back to that playground where I heard her fan girl over Greenday and how amazing Billie joe Armstrong is. I could listen to that all day. I just wish she would trust me. I know she has a wall up to protect herself, because last time I dated her. I hurt her. Nobody knows this but when I found out about what I had done to her I was in a parade. When I got home from the parade I cried. I cried knowing I hurt her and was never going to get her back. Then when I finally get the courage to ask her out again I had so much anxiety. I couldn't breathe I literally started crying on her because I was so scared. She gives me anxiety every time I see her, because I'm afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing. Which in this case I did. I never asked her if she was doing ok, never asked her things that I should have. I made us awkward Frankie. It's my fault. I'm sorry.

Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind

Have you ever wanted all the pain to stop? Like if you could flip a switch to end it all would you flip it? I would.

I'm so done trying to help everyone when I can't even help myself. I am literally the most pathetic person that I have ever met. First off I screw everything up with my girlfriend cause I can't even hold myself together then second. My crazy friend that that is literally crazy mentally started texting me so now I'm freaked out. I can't even please my parents let alone my friends. I'm just done.

Have you ever tried to drown yourself?  It's a hard task to do especially when you have to hold yourself under the water so you won't be tempted to come back up to the surface. 

What is this voice in my head?
          And why does it want me dead?