🌌 Kai/Uniqua 🌌

Uniqua: Even if I don't enjoy much media of the horror genre, I still believe I am the scariest thing to walk the Earth. I know true fear. I also know how to sneak up on people and get them to jump.
          
          Mettaton: Darling, none of that is true. Have you seen yourself? You're 4'11" and you are part of an extinct species that often gets mischaracterized and incorrectly interpreted as cute.
          
          Uniqua: Dude, it's all about stealth. In some cases, you have to have a high level of independence and assertiveness despite your height and appearance. Then, there's the rare occasion where being absolutely random drives people away.
          
          Mettaton: I have seen the last two. I haven't seen you use stealth on any of our friends.
          
          Uniqua: I use it almost daily on Hothead. Observe.
          
          *Uniqua quietly approaches Hothead from behind while he's vacuuming his room.*
          
          Uniqua: You're doing good, bro! Keep it up!
          
          Hothead: AAAAAAAAA-
          
          Uniqua: Nailed it!

Uniqua: So, you wanted to go on a romantic date with me and made a reservation.
          
          Mettaton: Exactly.
          
          Uniqua: More specifically, you made a reservation at Vela's Diner.
          
          Mettaton: Indeed, I did.
          
          Uniqua: A diner that has been known to mystics as a trap that is owned and operated by a killer ladybug.
          
          Mettaton: Killer ladybug?
          
          Uniqua: Tell me you led me into a trap set up by one of my father's minions without telling me you led me into a trap set up by one of his minions.
          
          Mettaton: Wait, Vela works for your father?!
          
          Uniqua: You didn't look up all the names you saw giving five-star reviews? Those weren't talking about the food or customer service. They were talking about how they make it easy to track down and take back survivors and victims.
          
          Mettaton: I thought this would be a great place to take the night off!

Mettaton: Why hate me when you can love me?
          
          Uniqua: Why lower your standards and accept toxic behaviors and traits when you can block, unsubscribe, delete, detach, report, mute, and unfollow after screenshotting any and all digital evidence of such harm before draining their bank, wrecking their car, and throwing toilet paper all over their house and yard?

Mettaton: Despite how long we've known each other, I still honestly believe I may have made a mistake somewhere.
          
          Uniqua: Really? How so?
          
          Mettaton: For instance, I never actually asked any higher powers to send me any saints or angels and yet, Frisk still introduced us to each other.
          
          Uniqua: Same, bro. Even if I did pray for one, I didn't say anything about wanting a relationship with them. Heck, I don't think I even asked for a male. I was expecting someone who could match my crazy while keeping me out of the mental ward.
          
          Mettaton: Let's just get a second opinion, then. Lioness, Alphys, we may need your help solving this.
          
          Lioness: Guys, you were put in each other's lives for a reason even if neither of you asked for it.
          
          Alphys: B-Besides, I do remember Mettaton p-praying for a better relationship o-on the surface. He can't s-say he never asked.
          
          Uniqua: Well, shtick. We are literally that one Lilo & Stitch meme.

Now, I'm not one for any f3tishes or fantasies when it comes to certain tropes in fiction. But that still doesn't stop me from questioning things about them or the tropes in general. For example, vampires. If we look at the insane age gaps between vampires and their human lovers, it looks weird and possible wrong. They often get paired with teens and they're at least a hundred years old. Bro, they hit their grave decades ago. They are cold and dead, so sexual relationships shouldn't be possible. I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade saying all this. If anyone puts in a request for me to write anything with vampires, I'll do it because I intend to make my readers happy. I will only turn them down if I don't feel comfortable writing sensitive or potentially triggering content or they break any rules for requests.
          
          Another thing about vampire AUs (i.e. Undertale or Deltarune), how can different races/species have vampire-like variants? In the case of Undertale, we have seen an actual vampire monster thanks to UTY. As for other UT, UTY, or DR characters, I feel like they should still look like their canon counterparts, making it harder to tell whether or not they're vampires. On top of that, how would that work since vamps typically drink bl00d and most monsters don't have any. Idk, this rabbit hole could be a bottomless pit in disguise.

Bro, I'm really upset. I'm disappointed. I'm also really angry. Why? Well, look no further than the jerkfaces in U.S. government! Specifically, I want you to look at Musk, DOGE, and Social Security. Just a quick recap of what's happened in the past 5-6 months for me. We moved right after Christmas to start the new year in a new home. Since then, Mom has called and even gone online to update our mailing and residential address with SSI/SSA. Here's the thing, the U.S. also has a new president. He's MAGA's favorite stale cheeto and this isn't his first term. He's created DOGE and put Musk in charge of that. They said they found wasteful spending, a portion of which went to national parks but, I won't get into that rn. This is about Social Security. They said they wanted to change things involving that and they have already started it, I think. First off, all offices no longer accept walk-ins. You can't get in without an appointment unless you just need to drop off any letters to them. Second, my brother received his SSI this month. I haven't. That was supposed to cover our rent. Mom has tried for three days to figure out what was going on via the national hotline and the number for the local office. I have tried the hotline, too. I couldn't update anything for my SSI because I'm not a rep payee. Mom is. They never told me to make an appointment to get any of this done today. On top of that, the only place our address was updated was online. So, someone dropped the ball and I most likely lost my benefits. We have to renew all that or I need to find work and fast. Mom was all supportive of whatever DOGE, Trump, and Musk were doing until today. In short, she now hates the government because we just lost a good portion of income that would usually cover our living expenses.

Zera: Hey, I'm Zera. I'm an aspiring druid and bard. I'm also trying to find out what happened to my parents. All I know is that they definitely aren't in Logland and haven't been there since I was really young. Not sure why they left me with the elders who then left me with a weaver but, I guess parents have to do things you don't understand sometimes. Anyway, this here is my buddy Yorksan. He doesn't come from Logland but, he does work there often. There's a bounty hunters' guild there. I met him when I was 19 and he was 14. He's almost like a little brother to me even though I'm half his height.
          
          Yorksan: That's right, garden gnome. I could easily punt you if I wanted to.
          
          Zera: Wait, haven't you actually done that before?
          
          Yorksan: Yeah, I have. I needed help luring one of my bounties down from a ledge safely.
          
          Zera: See? We make a great team!
          
          Yorksan: We sure do!
          
          Zera: As you can see, Yorksan is a barbarian fighter. He also has a criminal background. On top of turning in other criminals, I help keep him safe from any soldiers or guards. In return, he shares his knowledge of nature with me to help further my education.
          
          Yorksan: The Trapotrak tribe has historically relied on nature to aid in our ventures and conquests. Although it is rather odd how we live in the valleys below Logland, we do share common enemies such as the Tukituk clan and the Mangrove Society.
          
          Zera: You'll be able to hear more about our adventures soon.

Episode 11 is finally out, guys! We finally got past Undyne! Hotland, here we come!
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Wait, that means it's time for- ACK!
          
          Mettaton: Yes, of course! It's time for me! Finally!
          
          Yeah, after Undyne remembers.
          
          Mettaton: WHAT?!
          
          Uniqua: *in the background* I told you not to get excited.
          
          Mettaton: OH, THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GETTING IT TONIGHT!
          
          Uniqua: Catch these hooves out back, fool!
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/273015099

K, I'll probably start making campaigns here to get them ready before putting them on D&D Beyond. I would like to do a lot of homebrew campaigns while tying in experience they get from other adventures our characters go on. On top of that, I will also be logging the sessions here so, you'll be able to see all the madness that unfolds.

The end of the Adventures In Chaositting arc is here! Go ahead and check it out!
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/369562472