I read your story revenge (not the extended version) and I have a few recommendations!
1, try to describe all of your characters surroundings. Describe them in as much detail as possible.
2, separate paragraphs and speech accordingly. Making everything one big paragraph makes it hard to read for readers, especially those with reading difficulties— like myself! (I’m a nearsighted person that has difficulty reading)
3, show, don’t tell. In revenge, Aaruv feels betrayed at seeing Tanya cheat on him. Describe the feeling in his stomach, like a thousand knives piercing his heart! Every little thing that he feels in that moment.
4, really invest your readers! A simple five chapter sort story without that much progression in between chapters isn’t that engaging.
5, add every little thing. In chapter one, Aaruv and his friend (I think his name is Nishu?) decide to get revenge on Tanya for cheating. The next chapter, they’re in the middle of the plan. I’d recommend showing how they made the plan, the steps leading up to the plan, and more motivation and build up than “we need to get revenge.”
Other than that, your story telling shows a lot of potential! With enough practice and experience, your books could be very popular!!
