If anyone is wondering why a lot of my posts on here are either negative or positive, a lot being negative, or sometimes I just don't post for a long time, I do have depression. I'm not trying to make people feel sorry for me because I would never do that, it's just that since a lot of people probably don't want anything to do with me anymore, I've been getting more depressed over the years, especially since I'm now an adult and it's getting harder, what with my birthday coming up in a few months (I'm turning 19), a toxic family environment, being lonely, self-harming, feeling suicidal, having to accept the fact that I have epilepsy for life, and that I could have a seizure at any moment. My parents are also pressuring me about going to college and getting a job, but there are a lot of jobs I can't do, either because of my epilepsy or the fact that I would be working around things I'm allergic to, for example, I want to be a vet, but I'm allergic to long haired animals like cats, certain dog breeds, guinea pigs, hamsters and rabbits. I don't really have a social life, friends or a partner, and most of the time I'm just in bed playing video games, sleeping or drinking soda because I have nothing else to do. So yeah...Hopefully I'll get better soon and I'll actually go to college and get a job, make some friends and have a better relationship with my family because right now I'm on the edge with them