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I’m going through exams :(
I have to actually start doing shit for my exams right now. I’m so tired, my parents are splitting up and we have to budget a lot to afford two houses and idk if we are getting kicked out of the one we have because we might be. I have 3 months before I start my new timetable and I hate it already. I love maths and physics- all that sort of stuff- but I also enjoy my creative subjects and sometimes all the technical subjects really pull a ton out of water. I have to get all my N5s and bag them and start doing proper exams and I am stressing out. I have to get them all proper and well to get into uni and I have to get them all in the next two years before I apply incase I can’t get in and then I can try again the year after. My birthday is in less than two months and I don’t know what to do. My time as a supported and protected, vulnerable child are almost up and the anxiety of being an adult is overbearing .
I took my sciences, graphic communication which I didn’t take this year and Im not good at, philosophy and a course outwith the school- which is engineering based. Along side my english, maths and physical education. I don’t know how much longer it is until I have a panic attack again. I know it’s coming and I have to try and tell my friends about my family stuff and I don’t know how I am supposed to to start the conversation when every time I think about it or talk about it I want to cry. The only way I think I could deal with it is if I was busy doing something, but I only really do that with them in school. I don’t know.
Anyway- if you see me online somewhere, no you didn’t.
-S.N