anpankoa

I don't wanna be your friend.. I wanna be your bitch

anpankoa

. . . I wish I was focused  and more much of a motivated person but I'm not,,I feel like I can't be that same person I was before. Always so focused on that one thing I was passionate about, I want to but I just can't seem to be on that right track anymore. I'm sorry. I seriously am. I wanna do more, I wanna redeem myself and put myself and my work especially more out there but I can't. It's hopeless . I am so sorry for disappointing everyone, I'm gonna do my best to work harder and write when i feel motivated again. Again, thank you to all of my supporters and followers for guiding during this path of writing for Years now. I genuinely from the bottom of my heart appreciate this so so much , I just  want to continue to write more as in appreciation due to all of the kind words and messages you've all sent to me for the past years. Although, I doubt many of you will see this message, despite the fact I've been inactive these days. I'll also put this out on my main account as well (@kittydaff0dil). Thank you, dears.<3 xox

anpankoa

Sometimes I forget I have a wholeeee account to write in where I actually need to write in....sorry I been kinda on writers' block and no muse nor motivation's been hitting me w/ any creative ideas or anything . I hope to reach my goal as a writer to continue this journey but I just dunno how to,,,it's just so hard and draining at the same time , I have no idea what to do anymore with my life.I wish it was  easy but it isn't. I dunno whether to keep moving forward or stay in the position I am rn while suffering mentally and emotionally. My lack of writings were due to some illnesses and some things I been struggling with my whole life. At this point, I really really don't know what to do anymore. I wanna continue writing/reading works but I just can't focus and hhave that mindset anymore like I used to before. Been feeling so worthless like there's no purpose in my life anymore, I just want this feeling to go away already but it never stops. I wish I wasn't like this and feeling this way but I just can't help it. I overthink everything for no reason, it's stupid venting about this but I figured you all should know. Especially those who've been supporting me since day one and my peers, friends, supporters, etc. EVERYBODY whose been reading my work since the day I started writing on here, since the day I was writing so much on @kittydaff0dil TYSM for supporting my work on there as well. I truly appreciate it. I want to genuinely do my best  to write some more books for both accounts but I can't help but notice myself making broken promises to all of you about me continuing to write . 
          
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