araajamindjama

ought to start mapping my life of the next few chapters out

i think one of the major reasons why i am unable to produce anything here anymore is because my platforms are no longer limited. unlike back in 2021, when all i had were youtube and wattpad. of course, i also had facebook but that was only because i was a student in the pandemic and it was one of the only ways to communicate with people.
          
          i want to do that again. i want to try limiting my platforms again. get another social media detox. i NEED my sanctuary back.

i can't tell you enough just how badly i'd like to write again but consistently fail when i finally have ample time to do so.

it's been a while since i wrote here. to be honest, there hasn't been much reason to write here to begin with. i haven't made an update to any of the novels i've made in the past and the proses i've written in the last two years can barely be considered art---more like a journal entry willingly posted on a public platform. it's not even a journal entry because it's not as detailed as it should be lmfao.
          
          i also don't know why where this self-hatred and self-judgement is coming from. i used to love writing so much. i used to find rest in it, find comfort. now that i somehow feel detached from my ability to write, i guess the passion and love i have for it decided to hide away too.
          
          if i make one more promise, it might be a major reason why i wouldn't be able to come back and write here again. now, i wouldn't want that. i at least want to make sure that although i do not write as often as i used to, i would still be able to come back without feeling guilty over something i wasn't able to pull off the last time i was here.
          
          i guess, i'll just see you next time, mm?
          
          1511-1517

this profile is now unrecognisable from the safe haven it used to be three years ago. followers gone, works are gone, reading lists are empty, inbox is quiet. although the wall is still here, i don't know, maybe i just miss the routine i used to have.
          
          think we'll get to try it again this year? maybe it'll bring me some luck in writing again?

yt premium baby! finally re-availed after... five months?! HAHAHAHA YAS

definitely joy and me.
          
          https://youtube.com/shorts/GoW3BJZtx7I?si=792aQKN8OrYWMhZ_

i can't remember when exactly was the first time i read izaak and ria's story (ti3: sd) but after reading it tonight in one sitting and a whole lot of crying, i loved them more than i did back then.
          
          ria's confidence, strength, and passion + izaak's way of caring, protecting, and being possessive over her = in fricking tears ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ
          
          they were phenomenal. i discourage the whole "cheating" ordeal but damn, their chemistry is just so good. each line stabs me every time TT

IMPORTANT: PLEASE DO NOT WRITE ANYTHING ON MY MESSAGE BOARD AS IT IS MY OWN PUBLIC RECORD OF THOUGHTS. Any message posted that is not from me will unfortunately be deleted. However, I will be keeping a personal photo of it before taking it down—if you must insist on posting one. Additionally, I would prefer we converse in the private inbox of this app (I always reply!) Or in the comments section of either my or your book. Thanks for respecting my space! [0808301223]

it gets so sad when you realise people don't think about you as much as you think about them. and there's nothing you can do about it.