arandomtennessean_

i keep coming back here every couple months to see if youre back :(
          and i wonder if youre reading these and i wonder if you even want to reach out to us

Happy Birthday Aj, I’m aware I shouldn’t be leaving something like this here but despite what you’ve done. What myself and others have done. This is one date I can’t forget. 
          I’m fully aware you’re still there. I’ll admit at times I do miss you. I wonder if you’ve changed at all- at least gotten better- 
          It wasn’t right to run away from your problems, you left so many people worrying about you, even til this day- 
          Anyways, I hope you’re doing well and I hope you enjoy your special day

Miss you! Hope you’re doing better!

who is this person? what happened to them?

Hey everyone, this is a close irl friend of AJ's.
          She never faked her death, she tried to commit suicide and ended up in the hospital for three weeks. Her mom made her abandon all her accounts. She's tried committing suicide three times since then, so there's no chance she's coming back here anymore.
          
          I'm so sorry, everyone.
          She wanted me to tell you that she's sorry too, but she couldn't take it anymore. She never wanted this to happen; she meant to end it all.
          God, I'm crying even writing this. It's hard when someone you know tries to end it all, so I know how you all feel. I know that you're upset with her for apparently faking her death, but she didn't. And she's so sorry.
          She loves you all dearly and she wants to forget about her, which I know I won't be able to do.
          
          She desperately needs you to read this, so I hope you don't mind me pinging some people that I see have commented on her wall.
          @Strxwberry_Cow @Sarcastic_StiCk @-airplanesinalaska @Care_Bear_Jester @-tinysmile @solaris_stxrs @SaberStudios @witchdoctorwaluigi @Sunny_dayyz @westvirginiayes

It’s been a while AJ.
          I’m a little upset with you faking youre death, but I still see you as a friend.
          I hope one day you’ll be back, whether on another account or on this one. But I hope you also apologize, since you hurt a lot of us..
          I missed you, a lot.
          ~Someone you knew as Esti

B u d d y .
          
          You probably don't remember me (this is YourFriendArri).
          
          Please come back..you're worrying not only me, but everyone else here.
          
          And yes, you ARE cared about.

Hey
          I'm kinda
          Just worried
          It wasn't cool to fake that 
          But
          I know you won't see this
          And I still hope you know I'm not mad
          Just annoyed
          Fuck, I'm not even annoyed at you. 
          I can't be annoyed at you.
          I know, yeah, I should get over it
          But
          I
          Can't 
          
          You hear people say "the more something happens, the number you become"
          Is it
          Weird
          That I'm the opposite?
          Would you
          Would you hate me if you knew what I was now?
          Someone who actively told people they were "doing amazing" and "I fought through my depression"
          
          When in
          Reality... 
          I'm nowhere close to that
          I'm worse AJ, I'm WORSE
          I'm not the innocent trans guy who wouldn't say shit or fuck 
          Or the depressed genderfluid who expressed their emotions
          Or the decent agender
          
          I'm done with it. 
          It all. All of it. I don't wanna be here, ya get me?
          I
          Wanna
          Stab
          Someone
          
          Anyone. 
          Just. 
          Let me. 
          
          AJ I fucking need you
          I'm fucking done pretending "oh no, your dead" and "I'm happy your alive!"
          
          Fucking 
          Fuck 
          Fuck
          Fuck
          Fuck!!!
          
          I'm a monster AJ
          I'm a fucking Monster
          
          ~Sincerely, your Eurekan friend Echo(Dani)

I know you probably won't see this, some people are saying you faked your death and others are saying you're dead. I miss talking to you and the crew. It was fun roleplaying and being chaotic. I would do anything for that again. . <3

People where mourning for you since November , 24,2020 to Feb , 9,2021. I hope that no matter how low or worst you are feeling,  that you never ever decided to take your death ever again, much less Suicide. I just hope you know how much you hurted people and that you read all of our messages , and apologize for it any time soon. It wasn't cool at all, we're not mad but, just worried and disappointed; please don't ever do that. It ain't funny.
          
          -Sincerely, someone who used to go by 'Mattie'