chunkyman6179

It’s been exactly 180 since I had to put my dog down. At the time, it felt like my life was falling apart, but now it seems like I’m on a steady climb up and I couldn’t be happier. A lot has happened since this original post, I have graduated with my AAS and my high school diploma, got 4 years of Honor Roll under my belt, a HUGE award in band and recognition for everything I partook in, I’ve cut all contact with the toxic people in my life, started to make new friends, got a decent job, got more scholarships and grants than I know what to do with, seen and felt how supportive my family is, finally tethered my relationship with my father, met my new roommate, developing a semblance of self worth, understanding my religion, and most importantly—to me—FINALLY figured out my sexuality after years upon years of questioning:)) I’m grateful for all I’ve been through in life as it’s helped me discover who I really am at my core and I look forward to the ups and downs life will bring me. This has been real, but I think it’s finally time to retire from Wattpad. Thank you for being a part of my life for so long, I’ll forever appreciate the people I’ve talked to and the time I’ve spent on this app 
          
          Officially(and finally) signing off, 
          Charlee 

OK Wattpad is cool and I forgot that there was a character or word limit on these things so now I get to quickly sum this up. I must’ve pissed off God or whatever higher-being is in charge of our lives because holy crap they are letting me have it this year. I got a text from my father a few hours ago stating that my grandmother had a stroke and she’s currently in the ER. I don’t know how I will be able to handle this mentally if anything worse comes with the situation as it has been about 40 days since I lost my dog, and I know that people tend to ignore the fact that the loss of a pet is just as strong as the loss of a human being. Anyways, I’m just feeling a little scared and humbled right now. it’s crazy how quickly things can change in life. Things can be fine one minute and then utter chaos the next. Anyways, I just wanted to quickly wish everyone a great rest of the year because mine has been shitty so if you’re actually taking the time to read this, thank you . I hope you have a great morning or night wherever you are. Bye. 

I had to put my dog down today and I feel very conflicted. Part of me knows he’s truly gone and dead, while the other still believes he’s at home waiting for me. I go through phases of breaking down and just sobbing on the floor to being numb to being happy and laughing about past memories and photos, only to start the cycle all over again. I missed school today because I wanted to be there for him in his last moments, but now that it’s all over and done with I feel like I’m supposed to be doing something. I can’t concentrate on anything important going on in my life right now. I have a test tomorrow and a report to write after that, but I don’t know how I’m going to focus at all. Part of me wants to stay home but what would I do? The other part of me wants to go to school and do what I need to do, but will I be able to focus?? All of this is so confusing and stressful and all I want to do is wake up tomorrow and find out that the last 2 weeks were nothing but a dream. My beloved dog Boo is still waiting for me at home, where I can bend down and smother him to death with love and affection and he’ll do the same. But I know that’s not true and it’s heartbreaking. Sorry for the essay, I know no one is reading this anyways and if you are, thanks. I only wrote this so I can get it all out in the open. I don’t really have anyone irl I would tell this to and it’s nice to look back at stuff like this from time to time. Anyways, this is the end of this long tangent. Goodbye ❤️

School starts in less than 12 hours…AHHH

I think I need to do a detox of my Wattpad Library…I have 929 stories in there right now. Normally I wouldn’t care, but a lot of stories that I was interested in like 5 years ago have started to update or randomly show up at the top of my recently read list and it’s getting on my nerves. ESPECIALLY when it’s embarrassing or cringy ass shit that the horny 13 year old ball of hormones that was me, liked. Not saying that the stuff I’m into now is much better, it’s just…better :))

So you’re telling me…Wattpad has had notifications this whole time…and I didn’t know until about a month ago?? God, I’m dumb.

WHEN DID YOU UNBLOCK ME?!?!

Can I just mention how much I love my sleep schedule?  I have school tomorrow and I’m still up at 1 . I guess Imma be a bitch tomorrow, sorry in advance 

I would just like to take the time to appreciate and celebrate the fact that I have officially reached 666 books in my library. 

Also, idk why I renamed myself Floatingduck in all my social media when I’m afraid of ducks...and butterflies...and...mAnY other things...