cephetta

I hate my friends but I love them so much.
          
          But they're already all the friend group and I am nothing but a side friend.
          
          I could be replaced easily when it's just them. I am—even if there's 4 of us, they create a trip and leave me out
          
          Why am I so uninteresting? And boring? And mean? And stupid and not smart and ugly and not pretty and not skinny and undesirable and unattractive and so embarrassing and so
          
          I just wanna be one of the girls
          Please let me be one of you guys
          Please don't leave me out
          Not again
          
          Will I ever find a place of belonging?
          Where they'll be so excited to see me?
          Can I not be just another filler character and make this episode about me?
          
          I want to ruin myself
          I want to become beautiful beyond recognition
          I want to be one of those girls with a body sculpted from the gods
          I would give anything and everything to be skinny and gorgeous and desirable and attractive and
          
          I want to be looked at
          And I want to be talked about
          But in a positive way
          In a way that catches people's attention but because of my beauty
          Why can't I just 
          
          Please

i just wanna be one of your girls tonight
          let me in on secrets
          can we have a sleepover
          and can we not talk about boys
          and I know we have different interests
          but can we continue to get along
          I'm so glad that we've been able to be friends
          but you're making so much more
          and I'm afraid you're gonna leave me behind
          but I was there for you first
          <.•°>
          now I've made a new friend
          but she'll never replace you
          I think she's scared of me
          because she never talks to me
          and I always end up doing the talking
          but I try to talk to her
          and when I see her with her other friends
          she is as happy as can be
          she is smiling
          her face isn't blank
          but with me she's emotionless
          could it be I have been the problem all along
          was it my fault?
          again?
          I just wanted to be her friend
          but she never talks to me
          and I always bring her along with me
          and try and hangout with her
          but she's so disinterested and despondent
          does she even like me anymore?
          does she even want to be my friend?
          is she scared of me?
          i'm not trying to be scary
          I promise
          I just
          she's gonna leave me too
          and I'm gonna be alone again
          what am I gonna do?
          I can't lose another friend
          I don't think she even likes me anymore
          

___
          ~ I could never choose to love another...
          °•°•
          maybe one day I could learn to love you...too ~
          ___

hey guys I've re-uploaded works that I previously archived because I'm proud of them and want people to read them. most of them only have a few chapters because usually I get the inspo to start a story but never finish it...but if you beg me to then maybe I'll finish it...not sure about finishing Kyuubi's Revenge but you can probably ask me about the other stories!
          
          ~ cepha

when he calls me beautiful but I wrote
          
          your beauty creates unmeasurable standards. it was almost as if you were sculpted by the gods. each bend and curve manipulated into clay with the utmost care.
          
          when he tells me 'I love you' but I wrote
          
          from the ends of the universe and through the depths of heaven and earth alike. my hearts beats for you and only you. every fiber of my being is attracted to you and every moment that I am awake will be dedicated to you. in every action will I serve to please you and take care of you to the ends of the world. you are my everything, the reason I am alive, the oxygen that fills my lungs, the warmth that shelters me against the cold. it is with this declaration of commitment that I adore you. I fancy you. I love you. You are the only one I need.

NEW CHAPTERS UPLOADED SILLIES!!!

hey y'all I almost died last night cuz of a tornado but how have y'all been?
          
          Sorry, I haven't been uploading I've been so busy lately. And I'M LITERALLY ONE POINT AWAY FROM GETTING THAT 4.0 GPA RAHHHHHH
          
          I HATE MATH. LIKE IN EVERY OTHER SUBJECT, EVEN MY AP CLASS, I HAVE HIGH A'S BUT IN MATH IM JUST ONE POINT AWAY WAHHHHHH

guys please threaten me to upload more so that I remember to make my stuff plz 

Anyways, how are y'all?
          
          Do you guys get next week off, I get it off for Thanksgiving break, but it's the deep south so idk if anyone else has it off.
          
          Hope you enjoyed this little TMI!
          
          Stay in tune for next stories!!! They're coming soon I promise, but not soon enough.
          
          ~ cepha 

y'all I am literally losing my marbles, I have the perfect idea to write about but I have no time to write it cuz my AP class is AP-ing rn and I hate it
          
          Like I actually have to do work. I'm supposed to have memorized a speech and I have some of it memorized but not the entire thing and I'm so scared of letting my entire team down. Hopefully, we can bring up flashcards to remember so I'm definitely gonna make some.
          
          I hope I don't just blank, I would actually start crying in front of everyone if I did.