driyonce

So what if I said I was working on a new story? Is anybody still supporting me? Lmaooooo

ealston03

 Yes ma’am 
Reply

Swirly_gurl

I think your story is good,  it I do strongly agree with you, it needs revising. You're a good writer because you have me stressed out about Danny and Chance. I get the focus of Danny's issue, she doesn't speak up. I guess the abuse may stay I the story. I just hate that she had to suffer like that. I have some ideas that I think may be good revisions.
          
          Rodrick character: he begins to feel guilty like you originally wrote, especially when she let it slip of the abuse at home. But he should break up because of the lies from Tiffany. 
          To be honest, I was weirded out when his character mentioned having sex with her step-brothers and he wasnt grossed out by that or concerned. There are some parts in the story that are so cute and o. It, but then you should go into more of Tiffany fake friendship earlier. Just some inputs. If my ideas suck, or not your thing, it's okay, I'll still wait for your rewrite. I like the focus she damaged and so is her white knight in shining armor. 

driyonce

I love your suggestions, I started reading the rewrite again and I have lots of ideas especially concerning Rodrick. I’m not sure if I will make the abuse a part of the rewrite, if I do it will be told in a completely different way. This year off has given me so much experience and inspiration, and I hope to bring it all to the story. If you wanna discuss more suggestions, just DM me! 
Reply

Swirly_gurl

P.S. I hope my comments were okay for me to make. 
Reply