Elizabeth

First day of school tomorrow ! Yay ヽ(；▽；)ノ

I’ll be at Missouri for the next week waiting to tables and all that so no wattpad for me this week

Sorry for that just needed to get something off my chest !

So I know no one will read this but recently I’ve been having trouble breathing . 
          Not only because of health problems but bc every time I become aware Im breathing I start to have to do it manually.It’s started to become a problem because it happens several times an hour and I have to distract myself so it stops .I don’t know how to stop it either. 
          I looked it up and I know I shouldn’t have looked it up but apparently it’s an anxiety thing . I don’t really talk to anyone about my problems Idk this is such a vent ugh-
          Um anyways Idk if it’s bc I’m busy bc it’s summer but sometimes when I’m hanging out with people too I feel empty. It’s something I’ve been dealing for a while now and it’s kinda scary. I also don’t know if it’s bc I don’t tell anyone or if I tell ppl too much so it ends up not feeling important to me and feel like I haven’t opened up to people?
          I’ve thought while hanging out w/people -like very suddenly alright- abt how I can only see my perspective and it feels like things aren’t real sometimes . There was one time where I woke up literally got dressed, got in the car, did all that right ?Then went to the restrooms, my sisters hid from me and was legit panicking that it wasn’t real and that it was all a dream and that I would wake up . Or that I am gonna wake up somewhere different I honestly don’t fucking know. 
          I feel like I haven’t been actually FEELING anything, Like ANYTHING at all and it’s so scary. I obviously have short spurts of emotions but after it’s done I feel like it hasn’t reached me deep inside if you get me ? Idk. Maybe it’s bc I’m really worried about death and the future and don’t really have anything concrete and haven’t been taking to friends or is abt to go to highschool but I’ve been feeling more insecure as well . Maybe it’s because I tried to like someone and realized I didn’t even actually like him but maybe I do bc I don’t feel anything abt it and it’s scary and only liked him bc he was nice Idk but I’m really panicking.

Happy Mother’s Day !

I stayed up till 8 today and I’ve been awake since.
          …. It’s 2 am ‍♀️

Does anyone know how to reply in comments now Dk if it’s just me but I came back and watt pad changed yet again and now I don’t now how to reply

I look forward to spending another year with y’all 

Thanks for the follow :)

I’m going to mass