facsimile

unfortunately, i do recall, * a sigh leaves him, before he shifts, head in hands, * i'm so behind. it just feels like /so much/.

@feathrflaunt  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀hmm ..    you don't remember the fifteen minute stress rant you went on about your work last night?

you, * he murmurs, settling on the couch next to the other and leaning against him, * i.. find i would prefer to stay with you today.

@gentledeath-           ⁄          whaattt that is such a nice thing to say,    thank you so much!!   i hope you have a wonderful day/night omg thank you again  )):

@luminairs  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀[  thankfully  no  one  had  gotten  hurt,    dreaming  of  that  was  enough,     though  it  being  a  reality  again  would've  played  a  different  part  than  it  did  now.    despite  the  grip  grounding  him,    his  hand  still  shook,    fingers  flexing  for  a  moment  to  try  and  stop  it  once  he  realized,    but  it  was a  futile  attempt,    he  was  too  on  edge  for  his  body  to  fully  let  his  nerves  relax.  ]      it's  just  the  same  thing  that's  been  bothering  me  off  and  on ..    [  to  an  extent  it  was,    the  truth  sat  on  the  tip  of  his  tongue,    wishing  to  be  spoken,    he  just  didn't  think  he  was  entirely  ready  to  speak  of  it  at  the  moment,    not  without  the  risk  of  working  himself  up  once  more.  ]    don't  tell  me  i've  disturbed  the  one  time  you've  managed  to  actually  put  yourself  to  sleep —  ..
            
            ⁄          ermmm....   must've been someone else actually, i fear i don't know what you speak of  <33

⠀⠀(     gustave  let  their  hands  move  into  a  comfortable  position  to  hold  at  each  others  wrists.     he  didn't  notice  the  contact  as  much,     but  allowed  it  to  linger.     his  other  hand  let  go  of  his  shirt  then  too,     no  longer  needing  to  keep  that  distance.     he  watched  the  other  frown,     trying  to  play  off  whatever  just  happened.     he  never  thought  this  would  play  out  like  it  did,     in  some  cases  gustave  might've  thought  he  would  be  the  one  in  verso's  situation.     nightmares  still  plagued  him,     but  he  supposes  he  would  handle  it  better  than  the  one  who  has  been  dreamless  for  years.     his  eyebrows  pinched  together,     )     it's  fine—-     no  one  got  hurt.     it  doesn't  seem  like  nothing.
            
            /*     i think i'm allowed bc of that bomb you dropped in dms......

@luminairs  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀[  his  eyes  fluttered  shut  briefly,    a  hand  moving  to  allow  fingers  to  rub  away  the  tension  in  his  temple,    while  the  other  rested  against  gustave's  wrist,    digits  circling  around  it  as  a  means  to  ground  himself.    would  he  rather  be  restless,    or  have  nightmares  on  the  regular?    verso  didn't  know  anymore,     regardless  his  sleep  was  fleeting,    so  it  didn't  feel  as  though  either  would  make  a  difference  now.     when  gaze  fell  upon  the  male  once  more,    his  head  shook  dismissively,    lips  caught  in  a  frown  without  him  even  noticing  the  show  of  emotion.  ]    nothing,    it's —     i'm  sorry.    i  didn't  intend  to  startle  you,    i  just ..     got  shaken  up.
            
            ⁄          don't you squint at me......

⠀⠀only  when  i  think  about  it  too  much.     (     a  wistful  sort  of  look  came  over  his  face  then,     bringing  head  chin  down  towards  his  chest  as  if  he  was  embarrassed   by  the  admission.     he  never  thought  about  it  much  since  the  work  on  the  lumina  converter  and  what  lumière  needed  took  up  most  of  his  time.     )     i  used  to  do  duets.     have  you  ever. . .?     or  has  it  always  been  ‘ just  verso? ’
            
            /*     they have so much potential.... i love them dearly sobs

@luminairs  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀[  verso  could  never  imagine  having  to  lose  something  like  that,    couldn't  pretend  that  he  understood  that,    but  he  knew  if  he  ever  lost  the  ability  to  be  able  to  play  the  piano,    he'd  feel  only  half  complete,    because  his  love  for  playing  was  such  a  big  part  of  who  he  was.  ]    ..  do  you  miss  it?    playing,    i  mean.
            
            ⁄          stoopp i love them sm </33

⠀⠀yes.     my  maman  signed  me  up  for  classes  and. . .     (     he  trailed  off,     gesturing  to  what  anyone  could  infer  was  that  the  hobby  stuck.     he  missed  it,     dearly.     the  way  the  feeling  of  playing  the  notes  took  over  his  body.     )     maybe.     if  i  somehow  could  play  it  with  this  hand.     besides,     if  maelle  knew  i  could,     i  wouldn't  hear  the  end  of  it.
            
            /*     RIGHHTTT.... i made the hc before i even realized it uuggrrhh </3

well, i think-- * he really had no comeback. brows furrowed, he stirred the contents of his bowl, * oh, whatever. you can think that all you'd like >:( 

@feathrflaunt  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀i think ..     you just don't like being wrong,     but i'd like to believe i'm right more times than you are.

i suppose one might look at it that way. although.. i'd say it's more of a seventy-thirty ratio. that being, me correct seventy percent of the time, and you thirty. 

maelle  said  nothing,  she  /couldn't/  say  anything,  it  was  if  her  mouth  had  gone  dry  and  any  words  died  in  her  throat.   her  breath  hitched  as  she  looked  away  again,  attempting  to  find  something  to  busy  her  thoughts  and  blurry  vision  with.  she  had  thought  the  truth  would  be  better  to  hear  than  whatever  excuse  of  a  lie  would  come  instead,   maelle  was  wrong.   even  now,  with  her  and  alicia's  memories  combined,  she  still  deeply  missed  gustave,  he  had  become  her  family  during  the  period  she  thought  she  had  done,  had  taken  place  of  the  older  brother  without  maelle  even  realising  it  like  she  does  now.  to  think  all  of  this  could  have  been  avoided  almost  destroyed  her  all  over  again.⠀⠀⠀the  thought  was  there,  that  if  she  had  remembered  who  she  was,  where  she  came  from  before  all  of  this, she  could  have  saved  him  herself,  perhaps,  or  maybe  she  still  wouldn't  have  been  strong  enough  against  renoir.⠀⠀⠀maelle's  jaw  tightened  and  she  sniffled,  quickly  wiping  her  eyes  on  her  sleeves  as  quickly  as  she  could.  even  through  her  feelings,  the  fiery  emotions  that  bubbled  and  wanted  to  make  their  way  out  —-  there  was  nothing  in  her  that  could  resent  verso  for  this,  she  wasn't  even  all  that  angry,  it  was  just  that  gnawing  sense  of  emptiness,  of  realization,  which  almost  made  her  feel  worse.⠀⠀⠀‘  ...  thanks.  for  telling  me  the  truth.  ’
            
            ⠀⠀⠀ノ  if  we  keep  them  hidden  in  the  pocket,  then  they  can  have  as  much  fun  in  there,,  without  having  to  face  the  horrors  of  their  world  </3

@tomorrowcomes  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀it  was  too  late  to  take  back  the  truth  now,    even  if  he  wanted  to ..     it  wasn't  the  easiest  thing  to  get  off  his  chest,    and  while  it  had  admittedly  lifted  some  weight,    the  fact  that  the  guilt  of  it  was  resurfacing  made  it  feel  as  if  he  were  right  back  to  square  one.     he  had  no  right  to  cry,    to  be  upset  over  something  he  could  have  prevented  from  happening  to  start  with,    but  it  was  more  for  her  than  himself,    for  being  conscious  of  the  pain  his  choices  up  until  now  brought  her.     ‘  because  i  was  afraid ..  ’
                     of  the  attachment  she  had  to  gustave,    of  what  that  could've  prevented  in  the  end —    at  the  time  he  believed  that  the  lying,     the  persuasion,    would  be  easier  without  the  other  male  picking  up  on  all  the  deceit  before  maelle  could  ever  even  make  a  decision  for  herself ..     ‘  afraid  that  if  you  found  out  about  the  canvas,    and  he  was  there ..     you  would  refuse  to  help  me  send  maman  home.  ’
            
            ⁄          i'm just putting verso in my pocket atp  </3    all of them actually will be in there,    happily

she  had  knew  the  answer  that  was  coming,  although  to  say  that  maelle  wasn't  hoping  for  a  different  one  would  be  a  lie.  she  knew  the  truth  when  she  had  asked  the  words,  but  for  her  own  piece  of  mind,  she  wanted  an  answer  —-  and  even  though  he  didn't  lie  to  her,  she  almost  wished  he  did.  would  the  lie  have  been  easier  to  stomach  .ᐣ  to  delude  herself  into  thinking  that  it  was  always  going  to  end  this  way,  no  matter  what  she  or  verso  did  .ᐣ   though,  perhaps  at  the  edge  of  her  mind,  she  would  always  know  that  wasn't  the  truth.⠀⠀⠀she  couldn't  look  at  him,  her  feelings  twisting  deep  in  her  gut,   and  with  it,  came  the  question  she  may  regret  asking.⠀⠀⠀‘   ...  why  .ᐣ  ’⠀⠀⠀gustave  had  nothing  to  do  with  this,  had  nothing  to  do  with  their  family  and  their  grief,  but  somewhere  along  the  way,  he  became  *her*  family.  he  died  for  her,  but  he  didn't  have  to  —-  it  swirled  her  thoughts,  finally  giving  a  once  over  to  the  painted  version  of  her  original  family.⠀⠀⠀‘   why  did  you..  let  him  die  .ᐣ  ’
            
            ⠀⠀⠀ノ  i  think  about  that  a  lot,  ugh.  that  he  looks  so  composed  that  you  would  never  even  notice  until  /  unless  you  noticed  the  faint  details  of  tears  nd  the  tear  tracks   </3  it's  such  a  subtle  detail  but  it  just.  holds  a  lot  of  weight  in  such  a  small  design  decision  tbh

mmh.. * clyde buried his face, tugging the covers further over his body as he snuggled against the other man, * ...fine. won't you grab your journal and then return to me? i can't bare to be without you. 

@feathrflaunt  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀[  his chest heaved with the quiet sigh that left him,    a hand moving to rest against the small of the other's back,    eyes fluttering shut ..    for the time being,    he'd make no effort to move,    despite being restless.  ]     ..  i enjoy writing whenever the sun rises,    you know?    i think the sun rising is much more beautiful then whenever it sets.

* clyde let a tired noise escape, lazily shuffling closer to sling an arm and thigh over verso's waist as he commonly enjoyed doing. it seemed he was sure that would keep the man in bed with him. * your journal can wait.. 

@feathrflaunt  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀you have no reason to apologize ..    i'm not upset,    far from it —    so please don't misunderstand that as me being such.    if anything i had found it amusing at the time,    and i'm no better than you if i encouraged it,    now am i?

..oh. goodness. i'm.. sorry. i hadn't realized. if it's any assurance, my feelings for you are very much intense whilst sober. 

@feathrflaunt  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀well ..    maybe i'm just implying it should've been under better circumstances,    but —    i am  / not /  complaining.

⠀⠀(     it  was  nice  to  talk  like  this  to  someone  new.     gustave  loved  lumière  because  the  people  were  familiar,     everyone  knew  each  other  in  one  way  or  another.     the  kind  of  bonds  with  people  you  can  get  when  time  is  precious  and  memories  are  everything.     to  now  learn  and  share  with  someone  new,     it  felt  nice.     since  gustave  was  always  the  conversational  once.     despite  guards  being  up  and  walls  towering  high.     now,     the  jokes  came  easier,     the  feeling  behind  his  smiles  more  genuine.     in  his  mind,     and  to  no  one  else,     he  could  probably  see  verso  as  a  friend.     )     .  .  .     i  hope  for  that.     if  it  can  be  helped.     i'd  be  a  lousy  maester  if  i  didn't  keep  my  promise  that  it  would  get  it's  way  to  them.
            
            /*     yes!!! and then you can tell him to come to lumiere and theyre all happy!! in a way.......... yay!!!!!

@luminairs  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀[  lips  parted  as  if  he  already  had  a  comment  sitting  on  his  tongue,    though  the  moment  gustave  had  told  him  to  not  speak,    he  settled  for  rolling  his  eyes  instead.    both  of  them  were  stubborn,     probably  annoyingly  so,    and  that  was  likely  why  they  had  bashed  heads  more  often  then  not ..     but,    to  talk  to  the  other  male,     with  his  guard  down  like  this?    maybe  this  was  preferred,    it  felt  like  it  was  lifting  a  heavy  weight  off  his  chest,    forbid  he  had  ever  admitted  such  aloud  however.  ]     they'll  be  getting  that  journal  sooner  rather  than  later ..    from  you —     i'll  see  to  that  the  best  that  i  can.
            
            ⁄          damn verso trapped over there by himself forever,,,    but  it's fine i'll crawl into my console and figure out a way there somehow !!!

⠀⠀well,     no.     just  think  it's  odd  you  tell  an  amputee  that  they  look  nicer  with  a  prosthetic.     —-     i'm  joking,     don't  say  anything.     (     he  mirrored  the  others  chuckle  as  he  lifted  a  finger  to  stop  any  sort  of  reaction  to  his  humor.     tonight,     strangely,     gustave  turned  to  face  him  more  than  he  previously  had.     nights  of  arguing  and  spilling  truths  might  have  actually  made  him  more  comfortable  with  the  other,     )     you  would  be  correct,     they  gave  me  the  journal  the  night  we  left  lumière.     it's  surprisingly  helpful,     to  write  down  all  that  we've  done.
            
            /*     no exactly what i was saying.... if you never went towards the pier in the prologue no one dies!! yahoo!!!! :3c

* one moment, his stomach was dropping out of the fear that verso might choose to reject him. the pause, the consideration, it all led clyde to quickly assume the worst. however, the next moment, he felt a hand in his curls, holding him in place as his thighs gave verso's legs a playful squeeze on either side. their lips connected briefly, and the confirmation came. clyde smiled, uncontrollably, a pleased little laugh slipping past his lips, * you had me frightened for a moment, * he mused, leaning in to press one more little kiss to his lips, * i knew you would enjoy my idea.

@feathrflaunt  ⠀    ⠀     ﹠̲ ⠀[  he sat there in silence for a few seconds,    letting their soft breaths be the only thing that'd fill the space ..    it wasn't as if he were contemplating a yes or no answer,    he knew what he wanted to say,    he just wanted to embrace the closeness,    and the simplicity of the silence between them for awhile longer ..    his free hand moved to caress the back of clyde's head,    not to pull him closer,    but to keep him still,    making it easier to lean his own frame closer,    allowing the space between them to be no more,    connecting their lips in a gentle,     but momentary kiss.  ]    i would ..    like that,    yes.

i would like you, to.. * suddenly, he felt like a fool. a fool who was all too aware of himself, aware of the fact that he was straddling this man and that their hearts were racing so close to each other's, that verso had no reason not to reject what clyde was about to offer.. that was likely worst case scenario, but of course, his anxieties amped themselves up effortlessly. * well, i.. would like to be your partner. * a pause, * if you will have me.