𝐹𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑜

i dont think that we mourn because someone/thing is gone, i think we mourn because the/it meant (in a good or bad way) something to us and now that they/it is gone, the time is gone as well. and the story is almost over if not for the memories. memories are traces. and once the holder of these memories is gone, the traces will get more and more vague till they completely fade away. and then there will be no traces left on the face of earth and no one will remember our story. maybe we mourn because parting away feels like it never existed even though end is the best evidence of existence.

i finally published the second chapter of my 3-5 year old book (that i have been scrapping and rewriting and scrapping and editing and scrapping and deleting and so on so forth)

la lala lalalalala

i scrapped my book after 4 years of writing and i do not even care anymore (i do but i dont)

why am i here again, i always end up here 

i feel too dumb to keep writing anymore

remembering how everyone forgot that I put them on *xyz*
          
          but if I claim that out too loud that'd make me weird

Why does *so and so* looks like ,just now she was over with her third pregnancy? (_dark humour, feel free to be offended_ ☠️)
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          a guy who used to be my classmate, texted THIS into the group chat (which has almost every classmate we've ever had in school)... and there are people who get him (uwu) and think this is funny... why don't they create a different group chat, so that the next time someone says "men are better than women" (true story) no one has to feel bothered by the mindset of sIgMaS and cHaDs and AlPhAs and the broken grammar, (seriously you go to a private school your whole life just to put 'does' and 'looks' for the same subject in the same sentence?) just get y'all a different group chat...
          
          can I say this in the group chat? can I share this piece of advice? no cuz then im the oversensitive, crazy, feminist...

these days i only want to write, preach The Almighty, engage with some humanitarian content, pray to The Almighty and that's it... 

someone asked me today whether im a commun!st cuz i like watermelon