elegantflame
“becoming fearless isn’t the point. that’s impossible. it’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”
Fear was her gift. She could control it, manipulate it and turn it into whatever she wanted. She could take the bravest of hearts, and show them something that made them truly afraid. Half the time she didn't even know what it was. She couldn't see inside their heads like Edward. All she did was bring forth what scared people the most. It had been a useful tool in her years at war. Now, it was merely something that Lacey toyed with when bored. She had known Esme was curious about it, though she had never really asked about it before this day. And wanting to know how it worked... well, Lacey hadn't given it much thought. She knew the basics behind it, and how it worked. To explain it though was something different. "To control fear is to understand one's own flaws and fears. To bring to life other people's worse nightmares..." she trailed off for a moment and shrugged. “You can learn to avoid it, the manipulations. Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it. Once you've done that, my gift doesn't work so easily. Though I'm yet to find anyone that has managed to escape it completely, aside from Bella, of course.”
elegantflame
How did she feel? In the beginning, she had been cruel, far beyond anything Esme could have ever imagined. It was useful to keep the newborns in line and even some of the older vampires. It had given her such a rush to watch them crumble before her, fearless soldiers reduced to mindless babbling fools. It had been power and she had wanted power back then. Now, she didn't care as much. It still gave her a thrill, that rush as power, but she was trying, for the Cullens sake, to not be so ruthless. "Physically, it feels like any other gift in play. Sometimes you don't even realise you're using it. Just like Edward can't stop himself from reading minds or Alice seeing the future. It's just who I am. But on a deeper level... it's kind of hard to describe. I don't feel it so much. I know it's working, but you can't feel the fear yourself. But you can see it on their faces, and it gives you a sense of power, like you're unstoppable."
|| it's perfectly fine. don't stress
fearlessmama
@elegantflame esme had always been curious about lacey’s gift, in the same way she’s been curious edward’s and alice’s in the beginning. it was just a matter of asking, she supposed. but now that she had finally asked, she was very curious to know the answer. and while the actual answer hadn’t been what she expected, it was still as interesting. it even possibly left her with more questions than she had come into this conversation with, but her hands still clasped together in her lap as she soaked in every word lacey had said. she was right, it was impossible to be fearless. fear was a built-in feature of being human. pretty much, anyway. “with your gift, what does it feel like when you use it?” another question esme had been curious to know, although she left it up to interpretation, whether it was physically speaking or otherwise. / this is probably shorter than i intended but my brain is like .2% in use right now (‘: