@helia_selene
It's been a long long time....
I might delete some stories and will definetly change this whole Profile. I went through some bigger changes and i need to take control of my life back, starting with my social Media accounts.
Sorry if you enjoyed the stories but i feel It's better for me to take them down .
Love you and again sorry if i delete a story you really liked!
It's been a long time, but i feel that this is the only safe place I can rant without my friends knowing...
I don't know what happened, maybe it's going to my parents for the weekend, the 2 upcoming tests in school or the little argument i have with one of my "friends"...
I've been having so much fun yesterday and I actually feel good in my body and I'm working on myself! i've been 12 weeks clean for crying out loud!!!
But today, I just dropped, I couldn't articulate in neither german, english or italian classes like I usually can, I got through P.E only through will and I almost cried in math class today, TWICE.
I now lost my streak, I am clean for 15 minutes and I feel like I can't tell any of my friends. I feel like today I just disappionted everyone, I just want to stay in my room and let my daydreams consume me, I don't care if they're good or bad ones.
Everything's just moving to fast, and I can't cath up!
And I just have to keep pretending to care for every one, to always have a solution to other's problems and like everything is okay, but I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'M TIRED!!!!!
I just want to disappear, and never come back..
@lost-wandering-soul thank you so much, I'm really trying and yesterday and today have been actually good
@And-every-thing-gay hey calm down, breathe, 5 seconds in, 5 seconds out. It’s ok, you’re ok, you’re not disappointing anyone, you’re enough. If you need a break it’s ok to take one whenever you need too, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of isolation to help you calm down. I’m sorry I couldn’t respond sooner but I’m here now if you need help, need someone to rant to, or just someone to talk too, there’s no shame I asking for help. You don’t need to pressure yourself into doing anything like helping someone else or anything, you have your own issues like any other person and you need a break. Please take care of yourself however you can and please don’t cut, I’m sure you’ve heard it plenty of times but it doesn’t solve anything and only makes it better for a while. Try to find things to distract you from getting urges like watch your favorite TV show of stress eat, eating is better than cutting even it tears. Just know that even from the other side of the world there are people who care about you deeply and wish for you to get better, so if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING you can always come to me.
Long time no see!
But I try updating more, with no real exams because of corona...
Another thing: I have a girlfriend now!!!
It's the beautiful, talented and wonderful @Anne-danielsco-op
I think I jinxed it.
I was actually having a good nights sleep, a teacher decided to not stream so we could sleep longer and wednesday is in general a chill day.
...And then my mother decides to crash in, demanding why I'm still in bed and now I have to surpress a panic attack because she is sitting in front of me.
Happy international Women's day, everybody!
Girls around the world, fight for your rights and don't let anybody silence you (escpecially men)!!!!
I was back at the dermatologist today to talk about the results of my allergy test, he's very nice and talked mainly to me but I realized how much I had to concentrate to listen to him and look him in the eye to show him that I understand what he says. I almost spaced out the whole time, but know I have some pills and other medication to help with my allergy and I probably will have to talk to a dietitian to help with my everyday life. I will probably start desensitization next year and after three years it would have to cause no more problems.
I want to leave!
My mother hit me and it still hurts
But if my sister would have done the same thing my mother would have have just glared at her.
Really! The only thing keeping me in this family is that my parents pay for my school, that's it!
A few days ago my mother gave me a blanket, I only use it because it's soft and feels great to be wrapped in it but there's a text saying things like "I watched you grow and I'm proud of the woman you became" and sh*t so it feels shitty to be misgendered by a f*cking blanket!
@And-every-thing-gay mm ok, German one’s kinda conflicting for your because being called it sounds like they’re saying you’re an object which you aren’t. I do hope you’re situation can be solved, no one should be mistreated in any way or form.
@lost-wandering-soul Thanks... I use they/them pronouns, it's okay if you don't get it right right away. I'm mostly uncomfortable in german bc there are no gender-neutral pronouns other than "it" or if sombody purposely uses the wrong ones or doesn't apologize if they use the wrong ones.
What a shitty situation, I hope it gets better in the future for you.
Also what are your preferred pronouns? I just want to make sure I get them right and not make you uncomfortable.
You have been chosen to be showered with love ❤️❤️
Post this on the wall of every person you think deserves all the love in the world ❤️
If u get :
1 back - you are loved
2 back -you’re popular
3 back - you’re a very lovable person
9 back - wow I’m jealous
Don’t break the chain unless you want to break someone’s ❤️❤️❤️
❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️
Thx so much 4 the votes!!!!!
"great" news:
Our winter break is now 3 weeks and my mother wants to pick me up at friday and we'll visit my grandpa who's been in the hospital because of his cancer. BUT my mother isn't sure if we actually drive home, like switzerland home...
Sure I don't really want to spend 3 weeks with them but, being home is a good feeling and I want to spend the holidays with them.
And because of covid we have to take several test to go to different places and so on and so on.
I'm really pissed right now, because I have to take extra classes in chemestry and study everyday and take these stupid test to be able to go back to boarding school.
