jk7248

So I have been having a lot of migraines and stress headaches due to stress since I have a lot on my mind. My mom has metastatic breast cancer for the 3rd time. I have been trying to write but I am not focusing as good with the headaches. I hope to publish some more soon on the 2nd succubus story. Thank you all for reading my stories ❤️

SnowfakesElegance

.........but also his respect for her still being and remaining a virgin in our times is no big deal, sex being much more liberal than 600 years ago. So he probably wouldn’t expect her to be or does he taste it in her blood so he is a fact aware but she would still be acting a little more timid. So basically I was just suggesting to maybe slow it down slightly once they get naked, maybe including her nervousness that either leads him to realise something is wrong and she tells him, or perhaps her increased nervousness has her completely stop him at the point his fingers go to internally explore and tells him of her virginity. This gives him time to think about this as being an even more precious moment for both of them plus it’s effect on the ritual. Then he is even more in awe of the pure angel and really takes his time (which its already written that he wanted to take his time because he’d waited for this moment for so long - to be with his mate) but also now to make her first experience As enjoyable as possible plus the additional element of her virginity within the sacred ritual of MATING. Then as things progress, blend this into what you’ve already written for the scene would make everything seem even more intense. I don’t know, I think it would bring another dimension and possibilities to enhance the story with new elements (like virginity + mating = ??? Something extra special to their bond) and just make this scene even more climactic (if that’s the right word) but would definitely benefit for storyline continuity. With just a little tweaking at the beginning is all is needed as what you’ve already written is exceptionally good! 
          Please don’t take this as a negative comment, I’m hoping just to point out a ‘hole’ in the storyline and a few suggestions that I hope you see as helpful. 
          And thus far this is one was the most enjoyable stories I’ve read. It is shaping up to be one of my favourites. You are very creatively talented, that it for sure!

SnowfakesElegance

Hi
          Ive just been reading ‘The Vampire Bride’ and just completed CHAPTER 19. I left a comment\ side note but not sure if you get notified plus I wanted to double check on what I hand spoken of. 
          
          Basically there is a Glaringly big (I feel anyway) oversight in the storyline that occurs. Don’t get me wrong, I loved how you’ve written CHAPTER 19 and their first sexual experience together, HOWEVER, a fact just constantly bothered me as reading it. I double checked and Earlier in the story - CHAPTER 5 to be exact as the bath scene is happening - you had written.....”I have always been a professional and furthermore I am still a Virgin. I’ve never thought of men that way.” ....(I’m pretty sure the quote I wrote is exactly what is read or extremely close). 
          Anyway, I just think her being a Virgin is a pretty big thing for anyone to deal with in their first sexual encounter and just for storyline continuity and realism I think perhaps with a little adjustment to include the typical nervousness everyone experiences their first time along with the slight pain from breaking of hymen and adjusting to his size would help make the scene absolutely perfect. What you wrote was very intense and great but I honestly think if maybe her becoming nervous upon sight of his size when naked and the fact that he he seemed to use his fingers somewhat roughly- I’m pretty sure she would mention she is a virgin about the time his fingers when anywhere near her inside. But I also think by going into this it could also greatly enhance the scene as the fact she was still untouched and pure, as a Vampire you could go into how much more emotionally connected they become with this act of MATING being so sacred (perhaps virginity somehow triples strength of connection or power or something???)
          
          Please read following messages (damn word limit!!!!)

jk7248

So I have been having a lot of migraines and stress headaches due to stress since I have a lot on my mind. My mom has metastatic breast cancer for the 3rd time. I have been trying to write but I am not focusing as good with the headaches. I hope to publish some more soon on the 2nd succubus story. Thank you all for reading my stories ❤️

jk7248

I want to thank you all! My book has 103k reads! I am so excited and wanted to thank you all for reading it! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I’m working on a second incubus book so I hope to have it up soon ! Love and hugs to all ❤️

jk7248

Today’s my birthday and what I would like is for everyone to have a wonderful day ! Also if you could leave me suggestions on how I could improve my writing. Just remember I’m not a professional I’m really a registered nurse so be kind ❤️

jk7248

Thank you =)
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igottheholywater

@jk7248 happy late birthday!
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