just_being_me_today

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I need advice. So my best friend went to the hospital last night because he was really really bad (he struggles with depression and anxiety), and now he wants to take me on Saturday, because that's my 16th birthday, and once you're 16 your parents have no access to your medical records (idk if that's just in Canada, might be different in other countries). The thing is, I'm terrified of going, I've always told myself I wouldn't go on Anti-depressants because I don't want to become dependant on them, I wanna get better on my own, and I'm scared of what my  parents would do, how they'd react if they found out. My dad grounded me on Monday, said I'm not allowed to go to my youth group, can't go on the Mexico mission trip I have already paid for with my church, and banned me from seeing my best friend because I had a really bad panic attack, and my dad doesn't believe in that stuff. I was shaking and sobbing and rocking back and forth and he just kept telling my mom all this shit like it looked like demon possession to him, and I should get ahold of myself, and I was being rebellious because I wouldn't stop. He won't let me go to Mexico because of that, and also the fact that if I had a panic attack in Mexico they'd bring me to the hosptal, and he thinks that's stupid and he doesn't believe in mental health, he says it's all demonic and bc I suffer from anxiety and depression I'm not a Christian and all this shit. He won't let me see my best friend because he says my panic attack (which was caused by him yelling at me for absolutely no reason at all, by the way) was 'learned behaviour' and that I was faking everything. So now my friend wants me to go to the hospital and I don't know what to do, but like, I need help, and my parents are crazy and yeah, I'm moving in with my older sister this summer, but I don't know how to handle this, it just keeps getting worse and worse everyday, and I've been on the verge of suicide so much, I don't know. Just putting this out there.

EpicSquad5

@just_being_me_today  You can get through this. I know it's been awhile but my dad suffered from suicidal depression but he got help. Don't listen to your dad, trust yourself.
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just_being_me_today

this message may be offensive
I need advice. So my best friend went to the hospital last night because he was really really bad (he struggles with depression and anxiety), and now he wants to take me on Saturday, because that's my 16th birthday, and once you're 16 your parents have no access to your medical records (idk if that's just in Canada, might be different in other countries). The thing is, I'm terrified of going, I've always told myself I wouldn't go on Anti-depressants because I don't want to become dependant on them, I wanna get better on my own, and I'm scared of what my  parents would do, how they'd react if they found out. My dad grounded me on Monday, said I'm not allowed to go to my youth group, can't go on the Mexico mission trip I have already paid for with my church, and banned me from seeing my best friend because I had a really bad panic attack, and my dad doesn't believe in that stuff. I was shaking and sobbing and rocking back and forth and he just kept telling my mom all this shit like it looked like demon possession to him, and I should get ahold of myself, and I was being rebellious because I wouldn't stop. He won't let me go to Mexico because of that, and also the fact that if I had a panic attack in Mexico they'd bring me to the hosptal, and he thinks that's stupid and he doesn't believe in mental health, he says it's all demonic and bc I suffer from anxiety and depression I'm not a Christian and all this shit. He won't let me see my best friend because he says my panic attack (which was caused by him yelling at me for absolutely no reason at all, by the way) was 'learned behaviour' and that I was faking everything. So now my friend wants me to go to the hospital and I don't know what to do, but like, I need help, and my parents are crazy and yeah, I'm moving in with my older sister this summer, but I don't know how to handle this, it just keeps getting worse and worse everyday, and I've been on the verge of suicide so much, I don't know. Just putting this out there.

EpicSquad5

@just_being_me_today  You can get through this. I know it's been awhile but my dad suffered from suicidal depression but he got help. Don't listen to your dad, trust yourself.
Reply

just_being_me_today

K I'm half way through the next chapter of Capture (heh. The rhyme always gets me) and I'm wondering if anyone is even still reading it. If not, I won't update, and I'll just take it down. The only reason it's still up is you guys rn. 
          
          I'm starting my own work now, and though I don't expect many views, I want to do something different than just SW fan fictions. 
          
          So yeah. If you want me to update Capture, please reply to this. If it really doesn't matter, just ignore, and I'll take it down. 
          
          Love y'all! 
          
          Bekah

SilverDraconyx

Yes! Please update!
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just_being_me_today

Hey guys. 
          
          So recently I've found that I've been lagging in my faith, and it's been pretty disconcerting. I feel like all the time I've been spending on them has been a waste, and I could have spent it on much more important things. So I'm afraid that I am taking down some of my books. 
          
          I'll be leaving Capture and Visions (I will endeavour to finish Capture this summer) but the others will be coming down. Maybe sometime in the future they'll be back, but right now I need to focus on other things and try to get my priorities straight. 
          
          Thank you guys so much for understanding! 
          
          XOXO!
          
          Bekah

just_being_me_today

Yeah, okay, so I said I was back to updating a while ago, and then I didn't, and I know it. K first, I'M SOOOOOOO SORRRRRRYYYY!!!!!
          This time, I'm back for real. And I'm kicking it off with the release of the prologue of my new book, Kessel: A Star Wars Story, which I will be publishing today. Go check it out, please, it's gonna be a fun read, and a spoiler---IT'S GONNA BE DARKER THAN MY OTHER BOOKS!!!! 
          So yeah, check it out, love you guys so much, 
          
          Bekah

Peachey_Qween

Did you know I learned how to read from watching the clone wars and reading the proverbs at the beginning?  I love that  one you have.
          (Also I rewatched clone wars and realized how dark it is and I'm sit there like "I watched this when I was six"

just_being_me_today

Right????? That's so cool! Sorry haven't been very active, just catching up on all my notifications haha 
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