The first time I read my own book was six months after I started writing. And I did with an unbearable magnitude of cringe.
Thirteen and fourteen years old me believing what happens in books can happen in real life too.
Thinking it was romantic to be kidnapped, it’s easy to fall in and out of love, obsessing over all the cliché plots, and the concept of being each other's first kiss. The last one got so exceptionally worse that all my books and oneshots had it.
Looking back, I grimace as I wonder why I was the way I was.
I stopped writing some time before I turned fifteen. I felt like I wanted a break from a lot of things, time to think about everything and myself, with the support of my readers and friends.
When I returned and started with new stories, I thought there was a difference between how I had actually started out and how it was at that moment.
There’s always a difference between each of your works, but that time, it felt like being in a more mature and real perspective.
Maybe the little bit of delusionism is still there but sometimes I could recognize the seriousness in certain topics that are portrayed, the need to make them clear and not depict anything wrongly.
I feel that it isn't until you've really experienced something that you really understand it.
We all go through different phases in our lives. It isn’t easy to get through rough times. But a saying goes, ‘When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in.’
And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over.
Maybe we all just start looking at things differently one day, without even realizing.
C'est la vie. That's life.
