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Posting here cuz no one reads announcements anymore ..
          
          
          
          
          
          I honestly feel like dying. I just feel like my birth was the biggest mistake my parents did. I shouldn't have been born. Because disgrace isn't what I wanted to bring along. I'm tired of being me. 

Hey… 
          Sorry to bother.
          I just don't know if you're receiving my messages or not...
          You doing okay ? 

Published the second chapter of "I ended myself"

So one of the last two three people talking to me on this app has blocked me for no reason at all. Idk what happened. Without a thought they have left. I hope they are okay. 
          But one thing is for sure... Wattpad used to be my home. And now it feels like a scar that I don't know how to treat. I'll be thankful for this app for entertaining me with amazing stories. But I'll forever regret using this app to make friends. 
          It's hard to trust on online friendships now. So... Idk what to do anymore. Take care people. If you were ever kind to me, know that you have my bestest wishes. And even if you weren't kind to me, I hope you come across people who make you realise that you should be kind. Take care. Bye bye. I'm not deleting this app since I love reading fanfictions. But don't text me anymore anyone. Because I can't have anymore hopes now...

I will never be good enough 

I sometimes really wonder what it's like to have friends. To have things to do with them. To go places with them. I wonder how it is to know that even if everything is against you, your friends would hold you. How it might be to smile at someone clicking your picture instead of you holding it against a mug and clicking one for yourself. i wonder how it is to laugh in a group, smile for pictures together, cry together and just...be together. Maybe not in this life. But maybe in the next one, I hope my soul finds real friends. I hope my soul gets all the love that it didn't get in this life. 

Really everyone has left....

Why is there no one left here.  

I feel so helpless and hopeless lately. Nothing...nothing feels right anymore. 

Here's to the days I was not doing well yet I had this app. The people on this app. Today I haven't been any better... Almost everyone has left. I lost all of them to my childish behaviour. I lost them all to my mental health. 
          I remember coming back from school and opening this app impatiently to text 10-12 people who would be there to talk to me. Now There's barely one. Someone who needs me first. So I be there for them. But....do I deserve any attention? 
          I don't know what to say anymore. Because everyone has moved on. No one might even remember me. I'll just be a mere username on this app. Some day I'd vanish from the face of the earth... And no one would even know here. 
          I always ask myself... Why couldn't I be strong and keep them in my life forever? All of the bestest people. Those left are busy too. I understand. Yes i understand. But it's just not the same anymore. At the end of the day, I'm still here... Crying like a maniac. Cluching myself on a cold bed. Wondering if I can ever have real friends. Because this place was the closest things to getting friends. I just wish everyone the best. If you were my friend here... I hope you're happy. And if you're read it this far... I hope you the best in your life. It's okay.... I'll be fine. ...I'll... Yeah. 
          Bye everyone. sorry for this shitty venting tho.