To act normal and to be normal are two different things. And it is bad to get those two things mixed up.
To be normal is to reply to the comment "How are you?" like it was an everyday question. Sure some say it is, but to me, it is a symbol of complete akwardness and from the right people, it is also "I hope your not crazy any more."
To act normal is to hear the words, and wonder to yourself if you are. The question in this case is not "how was that show you watched this morning?" or "Did you read that artical in the paper?" or "what did you do about the laundry?" No, it is to hear "How are you?" Wondering from only your "loved ones", "Are you cured or not? Because if your not, we will send you back against your will." You may be thinking, "Bailey your crazy, your family would never send you to a place you were safe in. They do it for your own good." Your wrong.
With the idea in their skulls, that sending me back might help me, they will jump at the chance. If I am not normal, they will send me back.
So as I write this down, for the others who are stuck in the same, lonely boat I sit in now, let me tell you this; I will help. This diary has all the information you will need. Weather or not it works, its your choice to read it.
I have a plan. Tomorrow I will be normal. I will smile. I will talk. I will joke. I will laugh. I will wistle. I will walk. I will run. I will smell the roses. I will act normal.
But to act normal and to be normal are two different things.
Enjoy the laugh as you will, and cry as you might. But I will never go back. I will leave this here in my name, where others like me will find it, and use it for their own use. Allow me to say, I will become normal.
Even if that means, I allow the virus inside to eat away at me, while I try to destory the thoughts of all the bad things I have done. Or at least, store them away for now.
