lgray1109

I know this is absolutely not going to be seen, but it needs to be said. I'm leaving this account for now, possibly forever. Much of my time associated with this account is filled with joy, but even more of it is filled with the people who've left me, and a certain someone who made my life hell for months. I've alluded to it previously, but I'll come out and say it. I was cyberbullied while I occupied this account. I was told to K1ll myself while I occupied this account. I allowed a very toxic person to get too close and I regret it. To this day, I still have issues holding up friendships and relationships, I still hear her voice in my head telling me horrid things, I still have the emotional scars from my time here. In 2020, I chose to make a new account, @LucaTodoroki, which is now my MAIN account. "Luca" took over in the place of "Lana" and I was freed from a lot of the pain I held from this account. I was molding myself into someone people would like, and subduing my own self more and more. Luca, who is me, without all of the barriers and masks, is a mess. And that's ok. I'm a mess, who isn't? My point in writing this is this: I've done my time as Stargazer Pax, and I'd like to give up the scared and shy girl, who spent so many of her years in middle and high school crying alone past midnight. I'd like to say sorry to my younger self who felt as though she had to rush into a relationship or you'd lose that person as a friend. I'm sorry for all those years you spent faking and hiding who you were, Lana. There was nothing wrong with you, only the people who you hung around, IRL and online. I know none of this will reach those who have hurt me, but I can let go of my past pains. And so this is it for Lgray1109 for now. Stargazer Pax, signing off.
          	
          	-Luca

lgray1109

I know this is absolutely not going to be seen, but it needs to be said. I'm leaving this account for now, possibly forever. Much of my time associated with this account is filled with joy, but even more of it is filled with the people who've left me, and a certain someone who made my life hell for months. I've alluded to it previously, but I'll come out and say it. I was cyberbullied while I occupied this account. I was told to K1ll myself while I occupied this account. I allowed a very toxic person to get too close and I regret it. To this day, I still have issues holding up friendships and relationships, I still hear her voice in my head telling me horrid things, I still have the emotional scars from my time here. In 2020, I chose to make a new account, @LucaTodoroki, which is now my MAIN account. "Luca" took over in the place of "Lana" and I was freed from a lot of the pain I held from this account. I was molding myself into someone people would like, and subduing my own self more and more. Luca, who is me, without all of the barriers and masks, is a mess. And that's ok. I'm a mess, who isn't? My point in writing this is this: I've done my time as Stargazer Pax, and I'd like to give up the scared and shy girl, who spent so many of her years in middle and high school crying alone past midnight. I'd like to say sorry to my younger self who felt as though she had to rush into a relationship or you'd lose that person as a friend. I'm sorry for all those years you spent faking and hiding who you were, Lana. There was nothing wrong with you, only the people who you hung around, IRL and online. I know none of this will reach those who have hurt me, but I can let go of my past pains. And so this is it for Lgray1109 for now. Stargazer Pax, signing off.
          
          -Luca