Thank you! I’m glad they could help! ❤️ I don’t really review people’s stories, as I don’t really have the time to sit and do a proper analysis, but I did skim a couple imagines and all I can really say is that I recommend adding paragraphs to your work and putting dialogue on a separate line because when it’s all clustered together it’s hard to follow and that can draw people away. I know that writing tips chapter is reallyyy long so it’s easy to overlook but I did mention those tips in the chapter!
When writing dialogue, you start a new line when another person is talking like:
“Jimin, there you are!” You grinned.
“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” He apologized with a chuckle. “I got stuck in traffic.”
That looks much nicer than this:
“Jimin, there you are!” You grinned. “Hey. Sorry I’m late.” He apologized with a chuckle. “I got stuck in traffic.”
As for the paragraphs, it’s best to start a new paragraph when there’s a time skip or a change of scenery like if Y/n and Jimin were heading from their house to a restaurant. One paragraph would be them at home getting ready, another paragraph could be them in the car if you wanted to write about the drive there, and the next paragraph would be them at the restaurant.
I hope that helps!
