lillithmoon

My sleep schedule is so fing messed up . Yesterday I woke up at 9 am to my mom banging on my door just for her HAT that I've told her to keep in HER room. I went to sleep afterwards but I didn't wake up until 5:01 p.m.!! I didn't hear my alarm and I was apparently home alone. My mom knows how hard it is for me to fall asleep but doesn't care how much noise she makes especially for my almost 3 month old niece. 

lillithmoon

My sleep schedule is so fing messed up . Yesterday I woke up at 9 am to my mom banging on my door just for her HAT that I've told her to keep in HER room. I went to sleep afterwards but I didn't wake up until 5:01 p.m.!! I didn't hear my alarm and I was apparently home alone. My mom knows how hard it is for me to fall asleep but doesn't care how much noise she makes especially for my almost 3 month old niece. 

lillithmoon

Soooo update on life. 
          
          I'm graduating this year and I have a neice on the way from my 16-year-old brother and his gf/fiancé. 
          
          My mom broke up with her boyfriend last year cause some sh*t went down with her ex and his friend that was living with us. She is now dating someone, again, and is still neglecting myself, brother, and younger sister. I know not to get cps involved cause I know they ain't gonna do anything cause they couldn't do sh*t for my younger cousins. 
          
          Mom has invited her new bf to my graduation next week and I hate that she invites people to my graduation without asking me. Im gonna talk to her today and say that since he's coming, both are no longer getting a ticket because she invited someone who I do not care about or care to even know to something as important as my graduation. Mom and my brother are still pissed at each other for something that my brother said is true(said something in the lines of "if your our mom then start acting like one" I don't really know.) I only wanted family and friends to come but her new bf, no. She treats her new bfs son better than she treats her own young daughter(my younger sis) and treats him as if his son is hers. She constantly has something to say to everyone but never listens to anyone who says anything to her. At this point I'm ready to move out and take custody of my younger sister just so she doesn't go through the things my mom did to me.

lillithmoon

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Welp... this year fucken sucked and my mental health has deteriorated... and the fact I'm home alone with my brother and my now 4 year old sister on New Years Eve is fine besides the fact my mom is with her boyfriend which I said was okay but she always goes to him no matter how long someone else has been there for her... I'm just needing my mental breakdown to happen soon since I have held my emotions in for about three weeks or more now so I hope all of it resolutions come true and we all have a better year than this one.  Happy New Years Eve to everyone and may our years be better than ever

lillithmoon

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I'm sick and tired of my mom.  So what happened was my three year old sister choked me and it threw me off cause I was eating.  So I hit my sister's arms and she started to cry, then my mom started telling at me that I went to far.  So right now I'm babysitting while she goes out all night drinking and I'm stuck at home depressed.  I'm been thinking that I don't fricking matter to anyone not even to myself.  I know everyone misses when I was nicer but I'm fucking trying when I was a fricking daddy's girl as a kid and then my parents broke it off it just made realize that I have to take care of my younger brother and mature faster than other kids.  Even when my mom was pregnant with my sister I stood by her side and help her with cleaning, cooking, and washing the clothes and I never gotten a thank you for helping.  I even spent two summers not having fun because I had to take care of my sister while my mom works.  She says to act like people my age but there are some people my age and younger already thinking about suicide and have depression because of bullying, cyber bullying, hurtful words said by family member, abuse, and neglect from parents or guardians and more.  I know I'm rambling but I just need to vent since it's been a week since my last mental breakdown because I have no one to talk to about how I feel since everyone comes to me about how they feel and school started again.  I'm a little and if no one knows what it is its like when someone acts like a kids again because of stress or whenever they want. I'm also stressing about being bi because I don't know how to come out to my family cause I don't know how they would react on both but one of my cousins is bi but idk how they reacted to her being bi.  Gosh I'm sick and tired of this world but I'm waiting for someone to come and rescue like they do in Disney movies and find someone who truly understands me.  Sorry for waisting your time on this but thank you if you read it. 

lillithmoon

I also really hope everyone find the one that truly gets them and understands them
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thatweirdokhaiog

@lillithmoon it’s really no problem and thank you.
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lillithmoon

@writingWeirdo1226 Thank you and I hope that you find happiness that you too deserve for making me feel better and reading my rant
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