long_lost_sanityy

GUYS ⟟ WANNA BE AN ELECTRIC GUITARIST IN ⏃ BAND SO BADDDDD

just realized i’ve been on this app for over 2 years-
          
          
          OOP-

damn, with the amount of arguing that goes on in my household, my family would actually make the perfect reality tv family- /srs

ELLO MY DUDES! 
          
          silly october update:
          • haven’t made any progress with the sapphic love story in which originated as ⏃ dream
          • started writing yet ANOTHER story (dnf) and why do ⟟ actually love it so far
          • the beginning of the school year, ⟟ had to switch schools. just this last wednesday, ⟟ switched schools again
          • planning to meet up with my partner soon bc ⟟ miss them ⏃ shit ton (we were supposed to meet up today but ⟟ unfortunately couldn’t go)
          • 3rr0r and ⟟ have plans. that’s all ⟟ can share (idek if ⟟ can share this, lmk if ⟟ can, 3rr0r, please and thank you!)
          • gender identity crisis alert! wee woo wee woo!!
          • i’ve been playing the alto saxophone for 3 days now. gonna drop band cuz i have asthma and literally can’t play the instrument
          • hi *cue heartstopper music*
          • idk, ⟟ think i’m forgetting something but ⟟ don’t think so
          
          that’s my ted talk, thanks for coming you losers<3

little vent:
          
          as much as ⟟ wanna be angry and upset, ⟟ still cant bring myself to do so. every time ⟟ see their name, the picture, their face, its almost like im scared..? ⟟ feel my heart start to race and can feel it beat out of my chest. im not necessarily scared of them, tho, scared of the words thatll come out next, who will wind up hurt next, if anyone will hurt themselves because of it just like ⟟ did. im still confused about what ⟟ did wrong, why ⟟ was blocked, and why what was said, said? its pretty stupid, ⟟ know, but its true. ⟟ see everyone forgiving them and as much as ⟟ wanna be one of those people, its still lingering in my head. 
          
          (no, ⟟ will not name drop the person in which this is about. ⟟ can clarify that is isn’t my partner and it isn’t 3rr0r (3rr0r is my irl bestie who in which you can find commenting on some of my posts))

MY DUDES!! ⟟ was scrolling through my youtube just now and MY FUCKING GOD! ⟟ was scrolling through and ⟟ found this one video about someone being on ⏃ magazine idk what the video was about ⟟ didn’t watch it BUT the fucking picture thingy that gives you ⏃ hint of what the video is?? (just remembered the name) the thumbnail picture!!! it had this dude on it and MY LORD, THIS MAN GAVE ME SUCH HUGE GENDER EUPHORIA BY JUST LOOKING AT HIM IN THE THUMBNAIL AHHHHH!!! /POS

⟟ finally finished ff1970 and see why everyone says it’s so sad. ⟟ somehow didn’t cry but it was so sad

so update(s):
          
          • no, i’m not dead (somehow. idk how tho. ⟟ make stupid decisions lmaoo)
          • yes, ⟟ still am dying off the face of this app
          • y’know how ⟟ said ⟟ was reading ff1970?? yea, ⟟ forgot ⟟ was reading it and then proceeded to start reading ‘this is not an act of spite’ on ao3 and it’s ⏃ vibe
          • started ⏃ rewrite of ⏃ story ⟟ wrote in english in 5th grade that got completely controlled over my english teacher (⟟ was going to write ⏃ fcking angst story for ⏃ project free-write as ⏃ fifth grader. my english teacher didn’t like the thought of it, “helped” me rewrite it (even though ⟟ hated it after) and pretty much wrote my whole project (got an ⏃ on it but STILL))
          • physically and mentally drained between home, school, socials, health, concerts, etc. (i’ll be fineeeeee)
          • ⟟ leave school in almost 3 weeks!!!
          • ⟟ just wanted to add this one for fun, ⟟ don’t really have anything to say
          
          that’s it lol
          keep slaying you losers /pos

every time ⟟ say i’m back, ⟟ disappear for even longer
          
          anyways, currently reading ff1970 like ⟟ said ⟟ would over ⏃ year ago

HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER U